Re: [UUPoly-L] Marginalization

[Thomas Anderson <taanderson@mac.com>]

>TAA, what makes you feel marginalized, besides the comment you  quoted?  What
>can UUPoly do to address this problem?  What does the  UUA need to do about
>it?
 
Big thing is the (very natural) tendency to assume that "everyone else here is just like me". And, as a perceived minority community, it's all the more natural.

I can never decide whether to laugh or cry when the whole "how swinging is different from Poly" flame war starts up. Especially when the most vocal sides seem totally at odds with my own experience and interests.

I'd much rather address more common issues. You can find not insignificant discussion on FLDS forums about the "Edmund's Act", but I can find *nothing* discussing it in any way that applies to my life. And it would seem to.

I live part time in VA, a state where Adultery is still a statutory offense. Being able to be open about my non-legally-recognized life partner is a big issue to me. Things like Medical POA if it should become an issue are big issues for me. Things like being able to make sure she's protected and cared for if something should happen to me.

I care much more about being able to live my honest and responsible life OPENLY. Without worrying about going to jail of fighting Children and Youth over custody of my kids. I really have no interest in excluding everybody else, then arguing about who is worthy to be included under the Poly umbrella.

Case in point the FLDS people. I find their approach to life anathema to my own. But, if I'm going ot be fair and honest, they should fall under the banner of Poly too. My only beef with them can only honestly be when the parties involved aren't adults. Even the subservient role of women is really just a 24/7 Ds dynamic that all us kink-friendly people are normally enthused about. Just because it has a gingham dress and picket fence rather than leather and chains doesn't mean it doesn't follow the same principles.

"What does[/can] the UUA[/UUPA] need to do about it?" First thing seems to me to be a recommitment to the 7 Principles. To increase UUA of Poly, that would be the best framework to present our issues in. As a group and individuals that gets to both respecting individuals choices (and supporting those choices) and a reemphasis on Responsibility. Discussion on what that means might be a better topic, and then how to get that message out to the larger world.

Ciao,
TAA