[UUPoly-L] Female Submissives

["kit of the furry heads" <rawk.yer.socks.off@gmail.com>]

 Stanley Forrester wrote:

If a woman (or a man) is not free to be submissive then how is this
> different from the past pratice of projecting a single behaviorial
> template of say masculinity on men?  Rather than demand that the
> individual be critical of the social implications of their private
> behavior, I think we should demand that society not generalize the
> preferences of a single individual to an entire gender.


I don't think it is an either-or proposition. I don't think women
maintaining a critical consciousness while taking a submissive role kees
women (or men) from being free to be submissive? Rather, I think it is being
self-aware. The question really isn't, "Should I not be submissive because I
grew up in a sexist society that coerces women into be submissive?" but
rather "Do I desire being submissive? Is this in my best interests? How has
culture and my upbringing influenced these choices? How does that affect me
in making this choice?" and if the woman chooses a male partner, "Why is he
interested in being a Dom? Does he respect my boundaries? Does he value
consent? What is his relationship with women and femininity? Is he committed
to anti-sexism?" Stuff like that.

I've been listening to a lot of interviews with submissives in BDSM
> relationships and am starting to get the idea that BDSM/kink may be more
> akin to a sexual orientation than a social role that one takes on or puts
> off.  Many may feel anger at being compaired to the traditional gender
> role of women.  For some the role of the "Modern Woman" (please insert
> your definition here) may be a good fit but one size does not fit all.


I don't disagree with that. I have never argued that sexual relationships
need to be only constructed along fantasies of eglitarianism, but I am not
so eager to throw away the idea that the "personal is political."

And I don't see sexuality is seen as above analysis, that we are so eager to
end conversation with labelling someone's sexual tastes as "sexual
orientation" as if our sexuality and the way we talk about it isn't largely
shaped by culture.