Re:[UUPoly-L] Female Submissives

[Stanley Forrester <sforrest@lifshitz.physics.ucdavis.edu>]

O.K.  Let me phrase it differently.  If I were to demand that someone
critically examine anything, how is that different from my issuing
an order to that same individual, "Woman get me coffee?"  How it is 
that one is offensive and the other not?  Perhaps for you personal is 
political.  That may not be true of someone else.  The interviews I have 
heard are with VERY ARTICULATE people who know exactly what they want.  
While I don't understand exactly what they get out of the experience I do 
understand that there is something very personal and intimate there.  
(Please note the selection bias, anyone who can handle podcasting, audio 
and webcasting software and who are comfortable speaking on the subject 
are quite possibly not a representative sample of the whole population)  
As a male I've learned the hard way not every one wants to be saved in 
accordance with my personal notions of what is best.

> I don't think it is an either-or proposition. I don't think women
> maintaining a critical consciousness while taking a submissive role 
> keeps
> women (or men) from being free to be submissive? Rather, I think it is 
> being self-aware. The question really isn't, "Should I not be submissive 
> because I grew up in a sexist society that coerces women into be 
> submissive?" but rather "Do I desire being submissive? Is this in my 
> best 
> interests? How has culture and my upbringing influenced these choices? 
> How 
> does that affect me in making this choice?" and if the woman chooses a 
> male partner, "Why is he interested in being a Dom? Does he respect my 
> boundaries? Does he value consent? What is his relationship with women 
> and 
> femininity? Is he committed to anti-sexism?" Stuff like that.

I can't speak to the male Dom motivation.  (Any male Doms out there 
care to add your two cents?)  There are fewer interviews with Doms than 
with submissives and proportionally fewer interviews with males than females.  
Two strikes which combined leave me with very little to go on.  What I 
have gotten out of this is the emphasis on communication and informed 
consent.