Re: [UUPoly-L] Scarcity Model of Love

[P O <wild_card@sbcglobal.net>]

Well, one thing I'd add to this is the mixed message given about the power of love vs. jealousy.  How often are we told "love conquers all" in some form or another.  It's in every romance out there, most Disney fairytales, and it pervades so much of our culture it's just assumed.  

   At the same time we're told that jealousy is so powerful that any attempt to share our love will result in pain and the destruction of all the relationships. This is found throughout books, movies and tv.  

  So, which is it?  Is love all-powerful, or is jealousy?    

--- On Mon, 6/29/09, uupoly-l-request@uupa.org <uupoly-l-request@uupa.org> wrote:


Message: 4
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:48:44 -0500
From: Poly Friend <Poly@ArionsHome.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Definition: "starvation model of love"?
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Message-ID:
    <d941ac50906291248j3fbb966fua599faa138dfd192@mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=windows-1252

This topic is cross-posted to 2 other lists. Scarcity and Abundance models..
hmmmm.... I think looking at it the terms of those words might be more
useful.... Thanks... I was writing the following and I did not like it and
so I started to look for a more authoritative definition. I could find one
so I came to you all. I would appreciate any questions comments and
suggestions on this. I can ever scrap it totally. Any thoughts, comments, or
resources? ****** Starvation Model of Love: The entire conservative and
Christian precept of love is based off of the Starvation Model of Love (ie..
you only have so much love to give). If I love her and her then they both
get 50%, so I am not loving either of them ?fully?, or I love one 70%/30%.
It is therefore not possible to love them equally, but differently. This is
something that conservative religions love to teach, because it is a
convenient tool that greatly assists in controlling the masses through guilt
and penance, especially because it runs counter to our natural evolutionary
instincts, and abilities to love. Using this pervasive ?logic?? it must
follow that you can only love one person, therefore, if you love your wife
you must not love others, surely because you can only love one person. You
must not be able to love your children, your parents, your grandparents?
aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and best friends then. Fortunately
this is not the case. Then it must class based. You must only be able to
love one person in each specific class?. hmmm? that does not seem to be true
either ? you love both parents, and potentially more than one child. So,
that is not correct either. It seems that you can love as many people as you
want as long as you are not romantically or intimately involved with them.
That is quite the convenient limit. =( Unlimited in all areas except romance
and intimacy. Humans have an infinite ability to love, but we are not taught
how to do that. We are taught that fear and possessiveness is OK. The fact
that we do love more than one person proves this that we can? parents,
children, friends, etc. We are just afraid to love and embrace intimacy with
more than one person, because we are taught that it is bad, which really
makes no sense. To have more intimacy and romantic love in your life is a
wonderful and empowering thing. Love begets more love. It is fear, and lack
of communication and openness, that destroys our ability to love. We can
love more than one person romantically, but it is difficult to do especially
with what we are taught, and our societal and religious teachings, and
because we have limited time. Time is what we are limited with, and not
love. ******

On Thu, Jun 25, 2009 at 11:04, Mimi <mlle.mimi@gmail.com> wrote:

> I think this corresponds to what I've seen called the "scarcity model," and
> it applies to love, money, or anything else.  The opposite would be the
> abundance model.  As licorice gumdrop says, it is a zero-sum game.