Re: [UUPoly-L] struggling

["Geoffrey Stone" <gfstone@mindspring.com>]

Hi kestrel,
   My wife and I also are struggling with poly.  I'm the one with the 
jealousy so perhaps I can give some other perspective on the subject.
   I've thought about my feelings and reactions when "S" is intimate with 
another.  I think it goes back to my up bringing where I didn't have any
models for poly relationships.  When we married I thought her body belonged 
to me and for her to be sexually responsive to another when I wasn't getting
enough was/is hard to accept.  I had/have a double standard.  If I'm not 
getting enough I have the right to go elsewhere to meet my needs.  If she is 
getting
to much from me why is she sharing her body with another?
   I've read some on passion in marriage.  Seems like marriage and passion 
might be inconsistant.  A new person adds excitement to life.  I sometimes 
get into
the space where I can take mental pleasure from the thought that "S" is 
having a good time even if it is not with me.  She has said I ought to thank 
her other partneer
as when she has been with him she is generally more turned on and thus more 
apt to be responsive to me.  I can get to that place sometimes but have to 
work on it.
It would be nice to continue this chat.
G
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Angela Martin" <3goddesses@gmail.com>
To: <uupoly-l@uupa.org>
Sent: Tuesday, August 22, 2006 6:12 AM
Subject: [UUPoly-L] struggling


> My husband and I are working on polyamory.  We have had some
> experiences and are having trouble finding the right person/people,
> and would like to hear other people's experiences with polyamory.
> Right now we are going through a crisis with another couple with one
> member who is experiencing extreme jealousy and fear.
>
> How do poly families meet others who are ready for this?  If a partner
> is oppostitional, will patience, talking, and gentleness help bring
> him willingly to polyamory?(in other words, is there hope?)  I realize
> that is a question none of you can answer specifically, but I guess I
> just need some support.
>
> Thank you for any responses.
>
> kestrel
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