Re: [UUPoly-L] UU Singles group ?

[JasmineGld@aol.com]

In a message dated 8/22/2006 3:41:27 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,  
raedwulf@revealed.net writes:

> The local UU church has a singles group, that goes out, 
> has  parties once in a while, etc..  
 
If a "singles group" is for people who do not have any partners, then they  
are unlikely to be want partnered polys in the group. Adding partnered people 
to  a singles group changes the dynamics of the group, and maybe they  don't 
want that change in dynamics to happen. 
 
If the "singles group" is for people who are open to forming relationships,  
then partnered polys might be welcome, IF folks understand polyamory. But  
then the group might want a different name than "Singles." 
 
OTOH, if the stated or unstated purpose of the group is to allow each  member 
to shop for a monogamous spouse, then they are unlikely to want any polys  
confusing the eligibility question. Of course, they might be fooling themselves, 
 because a person who tends toward multi-partnering, but is currently  
unpartnered, could easily join the singles group. 
 
So the first questions are: Which sort of people is the group for? What is  
the group's purpose? Why do they want to be separate from partnered UUs? 
 
The next questions are: Does this exclusionary practice meet the Mission of  
the church sponsoring the group? Does it affirm the UUA Principles and 
Purposes?  It could go either way, depending on what the rules are and why. 
 
> So, now what.... ????   Doug
 
If it were me, I'd forget about trying to gain entry into the singles group  
that doesn't want me. Instead, I'd talk to the church leadership about 
offering  programming and discussion opportunities about polyamory to the church as a 
 whole. Get the conversation started, and give church members time to get 
used to  the concept. 
 
Jasmine