Re: [UUPoly-L] UUCA: welcoming congregation

[JasmineGld@aol.com]

In a message dated 12/1/2006 7:45:59 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,  
imapolygirl@yahoo.com writes:


> If we had committed UU swingers who wanted to join 
> together with us in UUPoly advocacy, that approach 
> might be different, but we don't to my knowledge.  
 
Actually, we do have some list members who identify as swingers and have  
some interest in working with UUPoly advocacy, or at least some interest in  
keeping an eye on what poly UUs are doing and whether we extend to swingers the  
same respect we desire for polys. 
 
Laura Stewart <_lonelocust@gmail.com_ (mailto:lonelocust@gmail.com) > wrote:
>  Educating people about the difference in swingers 
> and poly people is important. 
 
Easier said than done. There are a wide variety of ways in which to engage  
in polyamory, and there are also a wide variety of ways to engage in swinging.  
Depending on which of those ways a given person is talking about, poly and  
swinging might be completely different or virtually indistinguishable. And if  
the speaker and the listener have different ways in mind during the  
conversation, it can lead to miscommunication, hurt feelings, and damaged  
relationships. 
 
Anita writes: 
> If challenged about "those dirty swingers" , we can react 
> neutrally and point out that we aren't talking about swinging, 
> we're talking about polyamory. 
 
Directing the conversation back to polyamory is the safest response. As  
polys, our expertise, such as it is, is about polyamory. We have no expertise in  
swinging, and we should keep that limitation in mind. For this reason, I 
prefer  not to include, "which is a very different kind of non-monogamy," because 
(1) I  don't have enough expertise to speak about swinging and (2) I believe 
it's much  more complicated than this comment implies. If pressed, I will state 
that my  personal understanding of swinging is very limited, and return to 
"the  issue for UUs right now is polyamory." 
 
Depending on context, I might point out that my academic understanding of  
swinging does not support the "those dirty swingers" comment. The reason is  
that I have some concerns about implied agreement if I don't respond at  all. 
 
Jasmine