[UUPoly-L] definitions again; my 2 cents

["Fantine" <fantine@sonic.net>]

The difference between polyamory and gay-ness that
makes it impossible to put on a 0-6 scale is the
dimensions involved.  Obviously, gay-ness can have many
axes: butch vs femme, flamboyant vs closeted, etc. but
we tend to acknowledge the primary axis: orientation
(on the Kinsey scale).  

Polyamory may seem at first glance a matter of
distinguishing between having one or many partners.
But I believe it distinguishes from polygyny,
polyandry, and polygamy in general.  Much of this
distinction is a matter of free choice vs. societal
pressure, and privilege given to one gender.   My
polyamory is a matter of my individual choice and
neither gender is excluded from making such choices. 

Polyamory has not only number of players, but "quality"
of relationship in its definition.  For some this
"quality" is love, for some "fidelity", for some it is
"all partners acknowledged", etc.  The "quality" can be
the nature of the emotional relationship or the social
parameters in several axes.

While I do believe it distinguishes from swinging, even
as I practice it, I have a hard time defining the
difference, except that swinging tends to involve sex
parties (for 3, 4, or more), not private dates (for 2).
Pretty feeble distinction, huh?  Yes, my swinging
involves non-relationship sexual encounters: i.e.
one-party stands, but is just as likely to include
ongoing relationships, even if of a tertiary quality.

Also, polyamory exists as an unpracticed orientation
for some, some without a partner or without multiple
partners at the moment. A person who chooses not to
have polyamorous relationships, who is in partnership
with someone who does, may be considered monogamous and
poly-friendly, but in my book, is not polyamorous.
YMMV.

What other dimensions do you perceive?

	Francesca