Re: [UUPoly-L] Too many circles, lines, triangles.....

["David Hall" <airsafe1@comcast.net>]

Michael Rios wrote:
Exactly.  The kind of non-sexual relationship that I would consider poly is
far more intense than most friendships would even contemplate.  It occurs to
me that if I were in a monogamous relationship, my mono partner would
probably object to my having this kind of relationship with someone else--
even though it doesn't involve explicit sex.

One factor is that a non-sexual poly relationship would usually be someone
who would be taken into account in major life decisions, etc., in a way that
is not usually done with ordinary friendships.

Dave replies:
Exactly, what YOU consider poly is your choice, and no one will care who you
"take into account" in decisions. I take into account my wife's subordinates
in some of my decisions. I take them out to lunch, offer "loan a husband"
service to the single one for household electrical work, and otherwise
consider them very close friends. Nobody else cares (people think I am
nice), but it I were to be sexual with them, be actively poly partners with
them, condemnation would rain from on high.

It's the SEX that makes the difference in the public, academic, definition
of poly. It does NOT make a difference in how we, as individuals, see the
intensity of our relationships.