[UUPoly-L] Poly Def (was: Too many circles, lines, triangles.....)

[John Ullman <jsu627@earthlink.net>]

On a list a few years ago, the same thread started, believe it or 
not, maybe it was even this list, and someone emailed Morning Glory 
and got this reply:

 Here is Morning Glory's current definition, which she gave to the
Editor of the Oxford English Dictionary when they contacted her to
enter the term:
    "Polyamory: The practice, state or ability of having more than
one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full
knowledge and consent of all partners involved."

I object to the minority that wants to change the sense of the term 
polyamory by qualifying or deleting the sexual component for these reasons.

1. For clear communication it is necessary to agree on what words 
mean. We do not say an atom is a particle that has protons, neutrons, 
and maybe electrons. Nobody goes around bleating that their hydrogen 
nucleus is so lovable, or intense, or meaningful that it simply must 
be called an atom, too.

2. We have a perfectly good word for non-sexual love between 
unrelated adults: platonic.

3. We did not have a perfectly good word for "more than
one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full
knowledge and consent of all partners involved."  Before MG coined 
polyamory, people were using "consensual adultery" or "ethical 
non-monogamy." Do I need to spell out the inadequacies of these terms 
for polyamory?

4. Frankly, I think that the urge to take the sexual component out of 
polyamory is giving in to the very sex-negative culture that gives us 
such a pain in the butt. Admittedly mono culture is so unfucked that 
even platonic friendships sometimes provoke jealousy, but of all the 
components of polyamory, sexual is where the rubber hits the - 
oooops! bad metaphor, maybe - well, you know what I mean. Oprha and 
Dr. Phil don't do a lot of shows about platonic relationships.

5. And also, frankly, I think it is disrespectful to MG and those of 
us who were pioneering poly before the she coined the word. If you 
want labels for non-poly relationships, be polite and ethical enough 
to do the work and make up your own words.

6. For those of you who think it is fine to have your own personal 
definitions of words, good luck passing your SAT's.

7. For those of you who think labels are bad, just pray you don't 
patronize a pharmacist who shares your opinion.

John U