Re: [UUPoly-L] Too many circles, lines, triangles.....

[bear@pagansexcult.org]

On Mon, 4 Dec 2006, Joani Blank wrote:

>
>
> just exactly how open or how honest to be. We could probably come
> close to agreeing on what cheating is---having a significant sexual
> and/or romantic contact with someone other than a partner with whom
> you have a monogamy agreement, and concealing this secondary
> relationship, or denying it if asked.

I think it's more general:  Cheating means breaking the
agreements that your relationships are conditional upon.

That's more than just monogamy agreements; if someone
agrees not to enter into new relationships without another
partner's knowledge, and then does so, that's still
cheating. If you have a "condom commitment" with one of
your partners and then have *unprotected* sex with
someone else, that's cheating too.

I suppose there are situations where someone could be
cheating without it even involving an additional
relationship, but we can leave them out for now; I'd
feel like I had to qualify the word "cheating" somehow
if I was describing such a situation.

                         Bear