[UUPoly-L] Oprah update

JasmineGld@aol.com · Sat, 25 Aug 2007 15:16:46 -0000

--- Forwarded from Polyactive --- 

Well, the Loving More staff have found out that there's reason to  be
suspicious of what the Oprah Winfrey show is planning. Loving More  has
put out this  notice:

--------------------------------------------------

We too  know the significance of having an Oprah show about the
subject. She does  great work, and it's an honor to be called by her
show. From what we were  told, it does sound like a very good approach,
but that is just on the  surface. What we were told about this show was
the following:

1)  [They] want legally married people who are involved in open Marriage.

2)  This show is based on a national sex survey that was conducted.

3) They  wanted long-term married relationships.

4) This show is a panel on the  survey results, not just about open
marriage.

5) Open Marriage (not  polyamory) is the term they keep describing for
the couple they  want.

All these statements sound great on the surface, but like  most
entertainment talk shows, our concern is what is not being  said.

1) They did not say who conducted the survey.

2) The only  sex survey we can find is the one on the Oprah website,
which is said to be  for an upcoming  show.
(http://www2.oprah.com/tows/tows_sexsurvey_landing.jhtml)

3) The  statements at the end of Oprah's sex survey are:

--Are you having sex for  an unusual reason? Are you intimate with your
partner because you feel  obligated to or that you "owe them?" Do you
have sex with multiple partners  just for the attention? Do you use
your body to make other people jealous or  to get back at someone else?

--Maybe you have sex because it gives you a  sense of power. Is it
easier to "go all the way" than to stop? Or, Do you  want to feel
attractive? Did you have sex just to keep your relationship and  now
you regret it? Do you have sex with your spouse to keep him/her  from
having an affair? Are you having sex only because you and your  spouse
want to get pregnant and now there's no fun or romance left in  your
bedroom?

4) The description of the other panel guests has not  been given.

5) The name of the show is not being given to us except a  vague "It's
about sex in America".

One thing we do want to make clear  is that we truly respect Oprah and
the work that she does. If the show was on  polyamory specifically,
then we would totally be onboard. At the current time  we are not
recommending anyone to the show unless we get more information  from
them. With the situation as it is, we have placed them in contact  with
a few couples in the community to ensure decent representation  towards
the heart of their request.

This looks to be similar in some  ways to the Montel show we
participated in called "X-Rated Family Values"  (not to be confused
with the show Montel did completely on polyamory). The  similarity is
not based on the content but on having several different types  of
sexuality highlighted. In our experience the five minutes given  to
polyamory was hugely inadequate. The focus from the information  they
have given me is sex, not relationships.

Please understand we  would love to have a great polyamory couple on
the show but we want to  protect those who appear on the show from
being surprised or misrepresented.  It is important people know what
they are getting into. We only get one  chance to be shown on Oprah,
and we want to make sure it's done with an  honest spin to cover all
the angles correctly.

Our request of the  producer [in order] to help the show find a couple
(of which we have several)  is to be given the name of show title, and
that Loving More is to be listed  as a resource for people who need
support or information. In past shows there  have been no resources
given or even mention that there are groups, local or  national support.

We thank you greatly for your help in the matter. We  are currently
waiting for answers to our inquiries and hope that we can  work
something out with them. We ask that if you are contacted, to  please
let us know so that we can collaborate and insure a  good
representation of the polyamorous community. You can contact us  via
email at lovingmore@lovemore.com , or by phone at 303-543-7540. We  are
in the middle of preparing for our Sept conference so calling is  the
best method of contacting us for the time being.

Feel free to  forward this out to the groups or anyone you feel would
be  interested.

Robyn Trask, Jesus Garcia, and the rest of the Loving More  Staff

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