Re: [UUPoly-L] old vs. new relationships?

["Truckee" <Truckee@LTOL.COM>]

On 2/1/07, Rebecca Geiger <geigerbecky29@gmail.com> wrote:
> I can't talk for long becuase I'm at work.  I just want to throw my
> 1/2  a cent in.  I am very new at Poly and was introduced to it in a
> way that made me a little scared.  I know that this is a very stupid
> and I think nnot related to the topic at all but here it goes.  How do
> you get comfortable around your family when you know by their actions
> and their words that they don't approve of the way you live?  This is
> for anyone that can give advice.  I'm coming close to giving up on
> what I am wanting just to make them happy.  Knowing that it's hard and
> I won't be happy.  Thanks for any advice you can give me.
> Becca

Hello Becca,

This is a great question.  welcome to the site.

Recently I also came to terms with this issue.  I was down in Sacramento
attending a workshop with a mandatory lecture on ethics.  In part of my life
I have to decide a lot of issues over a variety of matters.  What I heard at
the workshop really hit home for me.  They were talking abut both issues
being right.  Judging from your question I assume that you do like living
poly and do not understand why others do not accept your choice.   I have
seen first hand the fear that can be put forth just mentioning to others the
basic tenets of a poly lifestyle.   But, their fear does not make you
wrong.... any more that they are wrong for their beliefs.   What it comes
down to is when you make your choice are you willing to live with the
outcome of your decision?   So yes there will be times when family will look
side ways at you.. or worse.  the real issue is can you stand and feel your
truth in how you choose to live?  I have also learned an important way of
defusing situations.  When some one asks me a very personal question about
Poly... one that just seems out of place in knowledge  I will follow up and
ask them Why do they want to know that question?  and from there discussion
can really begin.

My two cents.

Mark Brown