Re: [UUPoly-L] old vs. new relationships?

["Allen Ferg" <afergesq@alltel.net>]

A good poly person will respect the other's relationships, or primary, and
seek to keep them or it strong, not detract from it.  

-----Original Message-----
From: uupoly-l-bounces+afergesq=alltel.net@uupa.org
[mailto:uupoly-l-bounces+afergesq=alltel.net@uupa.org] On Behalf Of Laura
Stewart
Sent: Thursday, February 01, 2007 5:17 PM
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] old vs. new relationships?

On 2/1/07, Fehd, Ronald J. (CDC/CCHIS/NCPHI) <rjf2@cdc.gov> wrote:
> I have always held the opinion that we all suffer from
> what I call 'monogamy mind-set'.
> What I mean by that phrase is that we are taught
> and learn a langauge/vocabulary of duality
> in discussing and having r'ships.

> Q: How do we integrate NRE and our Primary Partner?

> * (re)assuring one's primary regularly and appropriately
>   about the strength of your connection
> * being clear with NewLoves
>   about one's self- and partner-commitments

> 'monogamy mind-set' expects/allows primary r'ships to be changed
> 'poly mind-set' doesn't.

So, I really have no idea what you mean by tha last statement, but I
cut these all out to ask:

You keep talking about "monogamy mindset", but you clearly say
"Primary Partner" and not "Primary Partner(s)" throughout your
diatribe.  You seem to be making this assumption that there's a "one"
and then there's "others" or "secondaries" or whatever the kids are
calling them these days.  Do you see a disconnect here?

-Laura
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