Re: [UUPoly-L] Story and a question (blanketz)

["Henry Eighth" <henryeighth@hotmail.com>]

  Laura:
  Communicate!   Communicate!   Communicate!
  First, let's assume that your husband's positive response is due the the
  fact that he, too, would like to explore polyamory.  You need to find out
  from him what he desires. 
  Once you two have defined what you each desire AT THIS POINT, start out
  slowly.  Do not be reluctant to share both your desires and your
  activities.  Your husband will become your closest confidant.  Remember
  all of the secrets you used to tell your best friend in high school? 
  Think of that kind of relationship. 
  If you two get really lucky, you may find another couple where each person
  is attracted to the other person of the opposite sex. 
  Sexuality encompasses a wide range of emotions including love and lust. 
  This group is primarily focused on the love portion, but it all plays
  together. 
  One more thing:  What you and your partner believe today may very well
  evolve.  You need to be able to continue to communicate as this evolution
  occurs to be ever vigilant about when you wish to make changes to your
  established boundaries. 
  Good Luck!
  Henry8

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    From:  uupoly-l-request@uupa.org
    Reply-To:  uupoly-l@uupa.org
    To:  uupoly-l@uupa.org
    Subject:  UUPoly-L Digest, Vol 29, Issue 17
    Date:  Sun, 18 Feb 2007 07:59:48 -0500
    >Send UUPoly-L mailing list submissions to
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    >Today's Topics:
    >
    >    1. Story and a question (blanketz)
    >    2. [RE] Story and a question (Desmond Ravenstone)
    >    3. Re: Story and a question (Laura Stewart)
    >    4. Re: Story and a question (blanketz)
    >    5. Re: Story and a question (Cynthia Armistead)
    >    6. Re: Story and a question (David Hall)
    >    7. Re: Story and a question (K Morgan-Davie)

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    From:  "Laura Stewart" <mathlaura@gmail.com>
    Reply-To:  uupoly-l@uupa.org
    To:  uupoly-l@uupa.org
    Subject:  Re: [UUPoly-L] Story and a question
    Date:  Sat, 17 Feb 2007 18:19:14 -0700
    >Am I hearing you correctly that you don't want to inform him of
    >everything that's going on, which was his requirement for exploring
    >poly, and that is why you are not moving forward?
    >
    >If this is indeed what you are saying: I do not say this to be
    >unsupportive to you, but that is not reasonable.  Polyamory comes in
    >many forms, but making any of them work requires open communication,
    >agreement from all involved parties, and honesty.
    >
    >-Laura

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    From:  blanketz <honestly.martha@gmail.com>
    Reply-To:  uupoly-l@uupa.org
    To:  uupoly-l@uupa.org
    Subject:  Re: [UUPoly-L] Story and a question
    Date:  Sat, 17 Feb 2007 22:11:27 -0600
    >Well, that's close Laura.
    >
    >I am not doing anything, just avoiding talking with him about it,
    >until I'm
    >more ready to bring that back up; reading, trying to come to a
    >better
    >understanding of how to do this right and keep everything up front.
    >He only
    >mentioned it as an acceptable thing to him last October. And we'd
    >talked
    >about it prior only as an option if both agreed.
    >
    >So yeah, it seems like I don't want to inform him where my thought
    >process
    >is.  Doesn't it. See how this turned into a struggle for me. Do
    >crushes I
    >have need to be verbalized, how much do you reveal, especially in
    >99.9% of
    >the time people I am attracted to will not be possible partners. I
    >just need
    >to work this out with him.
    >
    >I didn't mean to hope for support for hiding any developing
    >relationship
    >from him.  The thing I failed to say was that I am thankful for the
    >discussion in this mail list, and recognise that there is a way to
    >get where
    >I want to be, in relationships that work for everyone.  Having been
    >on the
    >untold side for so long, I have pledged not to put anyone else in
    >that
    >position.
    >
    >Thanks for your help.
    >

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