Re: [UUPoly-L] Report from PNWD AGM
Hello,
With all due respect to Kathleen (who may be speaking for the official
UUPA position), *I* am not asking only for "awareness, not acceptance
or activism". I think acceptance of consensual poly is pretty clearly
supported by UU principles, and therefore I (again, personally ... I
don't speak for UUPA) want UUs to learn about and accept poly as a
valid life choice to be celebrated in our congregations.
Of course, I realize that isn't about to happen tomorrow. But in the
long run, I'm definitely aiming for a larger goal than awareness--and I
think that it would be disingenuous for me personally to claim
differently to my congregation.
Regards,
Amanda
On Feb 26, 2007, at 6:54 AM, Kathleen Reedy wrote:
Pres. Sinkford's reference to working toward marriage equality for
gay/lesbian reflects the attitude I encountered at the Cedar Lane LGBT
group; concern that our message would dilute or eclipse their action.
However, we only ask 'awareness', not acceptance or activism, and that
our presence as a minority be acknowledged under the 'welcoming
congregation' umbrella. Time.............
Kathleen
Harlan White <mnstrm@erosong.net> wrote:
Hello, Polyfolk!
Last weekend I attended the Annual General Meeting (AGM) of the
Pacific Northwest District (PNWD) of the UUA. Each UUA district has an
AGM every year, and UUPA Board Members are trying to make it to their
local district AGM's to do some networking at the district level.
This year's PNWD AGM was held in Boise ID. The keynote speaker on
Saturday morning was none other than the UUA President, Bill Sinkford.
He talked mainly about what factors contribute to the growth of UU
congregations, including welcoming attitudes towards newcomers and
advertising campaigns, which have evidently been quite successful in a
few test markets around the country.
After the keynote speech there were a number of concurrent workshops,
one of which was called "Conversations with our Elected
Representatives," which was essentially a 1.5 hour Q&A session with
President Sinkford and some members of the PNWD Board. President
Sinkford did most of the talking. Finding myself in an open forum, I
stood up and asked a question. As best I can recall, I said something
like this:
I've been a UU since I was 12 years old, and I always come to these UU
gatherings with a certain feeling of swelling with pride in being a
UU. However, I have to say that I often leave with a touch of
heartbreak. The reason for this is that I am a member of a minority.
It's not a racial minority, or an ethnic minority, or a genderal
minority, or a sexual preference minority. It's a philosophical
minority. I'm a polyamorous person, and I'm in a minority because my
philosophy of relationships holds that it is a good, healthy, and
happy thing that my chosen family contains more than two primary
partners. I'm particularly aware of being in a minority because last
fall I suffered job descrimination based on my relationship
philosophy. When I come to UU gatherings and hear speeches about our
inclusiveness, and hear lists of all the minority groups to which my
denomination is intentionally extending the hand of ministry, I can't
help feeling a pang of heartbreak wondering wh!
en, if ever, any such speaker will publically acknowledge my minority
and declare that the hand of ministry is being consciously and
intentionally extended to us. I guess my question is, how close do you
think we are to something like that?
The answer I got, though I can't quote it verbatim, went something
like this:
Well, I don't think we're very close at this point. The ministerial
body is having some very serious conversations these days about the
issues involved in ministering to Unitarians in polyamorous families.
It's a very complicated issue for the denomination because of the
strong stand the UUA has taken for marriage equality for same-sex
couples. There will have to be a good deal of intimate, lower-level
conversation about this before anything is said at the higher
denominational level. However, I do personally know a number of people
who have polyamorous relationships, and I respect and honor their
relationships.
This answer, while it wasn't on the face of it terribly encouraging,
was at least I think realistic and responsive. And I was rather
pleased that I got the UUA President to speak the word polyamory in a
public forum with say, 80 people in the room, and to say something at
least tentatively supportive of poly UUs and our relationships. After
the session was over I went up and introduced myself to him and
thanked him for his responsive and thoughtful answer to my question,
which seemed to please him.
Then another pleasing thing happened. A young woman came up to me who
turned out to be a newly-appointed member of the PNWD Board. She asked
me if she could have one of my poly pride buttons, and I said well, of
course. She went on to say that she has been working for some years
with a young adult group at her church in Eugene OR, and that
polyamory has been a topic of much conversation and curiosity in that
group. I asked her if any of her group were members of UUPA or
subscribers to UUPoly-L. She said she wasn't aware of any, so I told
her how to find our website and instructions for subscribing to the
e-mail list. I felt that I'd made a good connection with a member of
the district board.
At another time in the weekend I got introduced to the new President
of the PNWD Board and told him I was with UUPA. We didn't have an
opportunity for any substative conversation.
Later on, a lady from Idaho approached me to ask a question about
polygamy. She has been concerned about Mormon splinter groups moving
into Idaho from Canada, practicing coerced and underage marriage, and
being involved in alleged welfare fraud. I told her that most
contemporary polyamorists would not condone such partriarchal
practices and were very egalitarian in their family structures. She
asked me what was the make up of my family and I told her my household
has two men and two women, all very independent and consensual. She
seemed satisfied and thanked me for the information.
Refreshingly, I was not the only openly poly person at the meetings. A
woman I know somewhat, who's been active in UUPA and in her local
church in Portland OR, was there with her two kids, and I had a
pleasant time getting to know her better.
And finally, there was one other kind of interesting thing that
happened with regards to polyamory. On Saturday morning I had put on
the conference bullet/message board a note saying that any poly or
poly-curious people could call me on my cell-phone if they were
looking for support or information. No one called, and on Sunday
morning I happened to look at the bulletin board and noticed that my
posting was no longer there. I went to the registration desk and asked
if by any chance I had done something wrong which led them to take
down my notice. The person at the desk said no, he couldn't think of
any reason why they would have taken it down. That suggests to me that
perhaps some individual took it down for unknown reasons, like they
found it offensive, or they wanted to take the information with them.
One of life's intriguing mysteries.
Anyway, I've now attended two PNWD AGMs, and I've really enjoyed them.
I really encourage folks from this list to attend such gatherings and
enjoy them as well.
Blessings,
'Storm
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