Re: [UUPoly-L] Report from PNWD AGM

[Kathleen Reedy <icescience@yahoo.com>]

Clarification:  That is all I was asking of the LGBT Task Force, i.e. we, UUPA, will do our own activism.
  Kathleen

Amanda Birmingham <lists@imladris.com> wrote:
  Hello,
With all due respect to Kathleen (who may be speaking for the official 
UUPA position), *I* am not asking only for "awareness, not acceptance 
or activism". I think acceptance of consensual poly is pretty clearly 
supported by UU principles, and therefore I (again, personally ... I 
don't speak for UUPA) want UUs to learn about and accept poly as a 
valid life choice to be celebrated in our congregations.

Of course, I realize that isn't about to happen tomorrow. But in the 
long run, I'm definitely aiming for a larger goal than awareness--and I 
think that it would be disingenuous for me personally to claim 
differently to my congregation.

Regards,
Amanda

On Feb 26, 2007, at 6:54 AM, Kathleen Reedy wrote:

> Pres. Sinkford's reference to working toward marriage equality for 
> gay/lesbian reflects the attitude I encountered at the Cedar Lane LGBT 
> group; concern that our message would dilute or eclipse their action. 
> However, we only ask 'awareness', not acceptance or activism, and that 
> our presence as a minority be acknowledged under the 'welcoming 
> congregation' umbrella. Time.............
> Kathleen
>
> Harlan White wrote:
> Hello, Polyfolk!
>
> Last weekend I attended the Annual General Meeting (AGM) of the 
> Pacific Northwest District (PNWD) of the UUA. Each UUA district has an 
> AGM every year, and UUPA Board Members are trying to make it to their 
> local district AGM's to do some networking at the district level.
>
> This year's PNWD AGM was held in Boise ID. The keynote speaker on 
> Saturday morning was none other than the UUA President, Bill Sinkford. 
> He talked mainly about what factors contribute to the growth of UU 
> congregations, including welcoming attitudes towards newcomers and 
> advertising campaigns, which have evidently been quite successful in a 
> few test markets around the country.
>
> After the keynote speech there were a number of concurrent workshops, 
> one of which was called "Conversations with our Elected 
> Representatives," which was essentially a 1.5 hour Q&A session with 
> President Sinkford and some members of the PNWD Board. President 
> Sinkford did most of the talking. Finding myself in an open forum, I 
> stood up and asked a question. As best I can recall, I said something 
> like this:
>
> I've been a UU since I was 12 years old, and I always come to these UU 
> gatherings with a certain feeling of swelling with pride in being a 
> UU. However, I have to say that I often leave with a touch of 
> heartbreak. The reason for this is that I am a member of a minority. 
> It's not a racial minority, or an ethnic minority, or a genderal 
> minority, or a sexual preference minority. It's a philosophical 
> minority. I'm a polyamorous person, and I'm in a minority because my 
> philosophy of relationships holds that it is a good, healthy, and 
> happy thing that my chosen family contains more than two primary 
> partners. I'm particularly aware of being in a minority because last 
> fall I suffered job descrimination based on my relationship 
> philosophy. When I come to UU gatherings and hear speeches about our 
> inclusiveness, and hear lists of all the minority groups to which my 
> denomination is intentionally extending the hand of ministry, I can't 
> help feeling a pang of heartbreak wondering wh!
> en, if ever, any such speaker will publically acknowledge my minority 
> and declare that the hand of ministry is being consciously and 
> intentionally extended to us. I guess my question is, how close do you 
> think we are to something like that?
>
> The answer I got, though I can't quote it verbatim, went something 
> like this:
>
> Well, I don't think we're very close at this point. The ministerial 
> body is having some very serious conversations these days about the 
> issues involved in ministering to Unitarians in polyamorous families. 
> It's a very complicated issue for the denomination because of the 
> strong stand the UUA has taken for marriage equality for same-sex 
> couples. There will have to be a good deal of intimate, lower-level 
> conversation about this before anything is said at the higher 
> denominational level. However, I do personally know a number of people 
> who have polyamorous relationships, and I respect and honor their 
> relationships.
>
> This answer, while it wasn't on the face of it terribly encouraging, 
> was at least I think realistic and responsive. And I was rather 
> pleased that I got the UUA President to speak the word polyamory in a 
> public forum with say, 80 people in the room, and to say something at 
> least tentatively supportive of poly UUs and our relationships. After 
> the session was over I went up and introduced myself to him and 
> thanked him for his responsive and thoughtful answer to my question, 
> which seemed to please him.
>
> Then another pleasing thing happened. A young woman came up to me who 
> turned out to be a newly-appointed member of the PNWD Board. She asked 
> me if she could have one of my poly pride buttons, and I said well, of 
> course. She went on to say that she has been working for some years 
> with a young adult group at her church in Eugene OR, and that 
> polyamory has been a topic of much conversation and curiosity in that 
> group. I asked her if any of her group were members of UUPA or 
> subscribers to UUPoly-L. She said she wasn't aware of any, so I told 
> her how to find our website and instructions for subscribing to the 
> e-mail list. I felt that I'd made a good connection with a member of 
> the district board.
>
> At another time in the weekend I got introduced to the new President 
> of the PNWD Board and told him I was with UUPA. We didn't have an 
> opportunity for any substative conversation.
>
> Later on, a lady from Idaho approached me to ask a question about 
> polygamy. She has been concerned about Mormon splinter groups moving 
> into Idaho from Canada, practicing coerced and underage marriage, and 
> being involved in alleged welfare fraud. I told her that most 
> contemporary polyamorists would not condone such partriarchal 
> practices and were very egalitarian in their family structures. She 
> asked me what was the make up of my family and I told her my household 
> has two men and two women, all very independent and consensual. She 
> seemed satisfied and thanked me for the information.
>
> Refreshingly, I was not the only openly poly person at the meetings. A 
> woman I know somewhat, who's been active in UUPA and in her local 
> church in Portland OR, was there with her two kids, and I had a 
> pleasant time getting to know her better.
>
> And finally, there was one other kind of interesting thing that 
> happened with regards to polyamory. On Saturday morning I had put on 
> the conference bullet/message board a note saying that any poly or 
> poly-curious people could call me on my cell-phone if they were 
> looking for support or information. No one called, and on Sunday 
> morning I happened to look at the bulletin board and noticed that my 
> posting was no longer there. I went to the registration desk and asked 
> if by any chance I had done something wrong which led them to take 
> down my notice. The person at the desk said no, he couldn't think of 
> any reason why they would have taken it down. That suggests to me that 
> perhaps some individual took it down for unknown reasons, like they 
> found it offensive, or they wanted to take the information with them. 
> One of life's intriguing mysteries.
>
> Anyway, I've now attended two PNWD AGMs, and I've really enjoyed them. 
> I really encourage folks from this list to attend such gatherings and 
> enjoy them as well.
>
> Blessings,
>
> 'Storm
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