Re: [UUPoly-L] Muncie?

["David VanHorn" <dvanhorn@microbrix.com>]

On 1/5/07, Timothy McKee <mknd17@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Unfortunately, sometimes these ministers that like to lay hands on people
> are often the so-called full gospel charismatic/pentecostal type that
> answer
> to no one but God, Gonads, and Greed.


I do hold ministers and facilitators to a higher standard.  They are
supposed to be our leaders afterall.

I was suspecting that was the case, but I went anyway since she'd come to
the UU with me, I felt I owed that to her.  I just don't know how to deal
with it, if they start asking questions.. I feel like I'll be forced to lie
to keep things ok for her, and I'm really having a hard time with that.   I
don't want to stay "covert poly" either.. DAMMIT.  We aren't doing anything
wrong, and I KNOW THAT, and it really grinds my gears to hide.  But, this is
a small factory town, and churches like that one seem to be the majority.

I was talking this through with a close friend last night, and he pointed
out something that I hadn't really realized yet.. Of all the people that
know of us, how many actively disapprove... None.
We are worried about my wife's parents, (we're grandparents, but we still
worry.. :)  )
I worry about some of her friends, who are pretty fundie.
Interestingly, I have a couple of close fundie friends, they came and prayed
for me when I was in the hospital, and they are ok with it.. Not something
they would choose, but they can deal with the fact that we are.

I had to deal this past summer with some aftershocks of a Texas Church
> giving an overly-generous severence package to a philandering minister. I
> guess they took him to one side of the county line and told him to keep
> moving, and took the woman he philandered with to the opposite side and
> told
> her to Remember Lot's Wife. They apparently loved the minister more than
> the
> local newspaper that published the scoop in the first place. He had
> apparently told many that he had put his skirt chasing behind him.
> Obviously
> he hadn't.


We are just up the road from Ted Haggard's roots.
I do hope that boy can resolve his issues. It must be awful to hate a part
of yourself like that.
:(  I send him hugs.


Part of the beauty of polyamory is that it can create wondrous contingencies
> when monogamy leaves someone with no love at all. It will take awhile for
> those in more traditional faiths to figure it out, considering how rough
> it
> has been for UU poly folk.


Yes.. I see that, and it's wonderful.  I've heard stories of lovers
alternating between hospital and home, so that the kids are taken care of,
and the wounded party still has someone with them at all times.. That comes
home to me, I spend nine weeks in the hospital with pancreatitis a few years
ago, and it was a very lonely time.  Also, since I probably will go first, I
like the idea that my wife has her other relationships to sustain her.  Some
people go on for years wondering if it's ok to take a new partner, not
wanting to feel that they've "dumped" the one that died.  :(



I hope things work out. You have my support and prayers.


Thanks!