Re: [UUPoly-L] Muncie?



On 1/5/07, Cynthia Armistead <cyn@technomom.com> wrote:
alan7388@comcast.net wrote:

> Not just one, but TWO couples I know of got married in evangelical churches where the minister agreed, during plans and rehearsals, to omit the woman's oath that she will always obey the husband -- and then in the ceremony, up in front of the crowd, sprang it on them anyway. Apparently this is standard tactics.

I had one do that to me, as well. We had written our own, very simple
vows, that didn't contain anything like "obeying," much less any mention
of monogamy or "to death do us part." The minister started doing the
traditional vows instead. I stopped him and said, "I think you've
misremembered." He got quite flustered, then went on with what we'd
written. If I had been a much younger or less stubborn person, I might
have been less willing to stand up to him in the middle of the ceremony
like that, so I'm sure they get away with it most of the time.

Namaste,
Cyn

A friend of mine actually had this happen with a justice of the peace. They used the common vows (which these days don't generally involve the "and obey") and had just asked him to leave out the "forsaking all others" since they were poly. The justice went ahead and left that in there, and they stopped and told him to re-ask the vow leaving that part out.

-Laura




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