Re: [UUPoly-L] Open Marriage--Polyamory

["Desmond Ravenstone" <gentlemonster@lycos.com>]

   >But Kelly, if you use this argument, you are arguing against legal

   >recognition of monogamous marriage with it's 50% divorce rate. And you
   are

   >receiving this rebuttal from a man who is ending his 22 year (mostly)

   >monogamous marriage

   No, I'm not. The due diligence I am talking about concerns how
   multi-partner

   marriage could cause problems because our society has so entirely adapted

   its laws, institutions, and customs to marriage between two people. It
   could

   also cause problems because sexism is still a reality in society at large.

   WADR I don't think any of us are arguing that this would happen in a short
   amount of time. The concept of same-sex marriage existed for over a
   century before it came about here in Massachusetts (Walt Whitman entered a
   [private covenant with his partner) and the public legal fight for it
   began in the early 1970's and continued in modified form through domestic
   partner benefits over the next two decades before the Hawai'i case came to
   the fore, then Vermont, then the Goodridge decision and onwards.

   Over time, as more BGLT people became visible, and esp about their
   partnerships and families, people became more aware and accepting. If you
   look at the survey results, you see a definite shift along generational
   lines -- older people are less willing to accept DP and SSM, while younger
   people are more open to it.

   The biggest obstacle to changing laws is political inertia. Politicians
   are relatively risk averse when it comes to significant changes in
   legislation. If they feel their constituents are more ideologically
   conservative, then they will resist making changes for fear of losing
   their re-election campaigns. This despite the fact that most Americans are
   pragmatic (for example, surveys show that most Americans -- and esp
   parents -- favor comprehensive sexuality education over abstinence-only,
   despite politicians caving in to the Radical Right to favor the latter).
   The problem comes when pragmatic and progressive people refrain from
   voting and writing their legislators, while absolutist ideologues continue
   to do so.

   So, if you want change -- whether it's gradual or radical -- you have to
   speak up for it. As Mikhail Baryshnikov said: "You don't ask, you don't
   get."

   Desmond Ravenstone

   ********************

   http://www.lulu.com/gentlemonster
   http://www.myspace.com/desmond_ravenstone

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