Re: [UUPoly-L] Marriage Vows

"Douglass Mitchell Modisett" <mmodis@3oaks.com> · Wed, 04 Jul 2007 03:09:02 -0000

Dear Bitsy

           I don't know you, and my advice might not be helpful.  Will you 
be married in a UU church by a UU minister?  Is your father living?  I think 
it is wise for each couple (or whatever) to write out their own vows.  The 2 
or the 3 of you could make your own commitments.  Does the pastor marry 
people this way?  Would he be helpful?  If your father has passed away  (or 
whatever you decide) you could have your second partner walk you down the 
aisle and give you away.  And a party before or after the service sounds 
good.--either in a home or in the church basement.

                                                                   Best 
Wishes       Mitch

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bitsy" <darthbitsy@yahoo.com>

To: <uupoly-l@uupa.org>

Sent: Tuesday, July 03, 2007 9:43 PM

Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Marriage Vows
While we are talking about marriage...
My primary partner and I have been talking for sometime about getting 
married.  (I've been uneasy

about it, just because I don't like the societal baggage that comes with 
it.)  If we were to have

some sort of commitment ceremony, I would very much want to include my 
other partner in some way,

while keeping the ceremony to celebrate the love between myself and my 
primary .  I'm not ready to

make such a commitment to my other partner.  I think this may be the place 
of a best man/woman,

but somehow this doesn't seem right (I'd like to forgo such a party, as it 
seems mainly like a

place for hurt feelings).  Does anyone here have any ideas?
(I was playing with the idea of throwing a pre-ceremony party the night 
before very clearly hosted

by all three of us, or me and my other partner.)
Bitsy

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