[UUPoly-L] [RE] My response to the blog discussion

["Desmond Ravenstone" <gentlemonster@lycos.com>]

   Well said, Jasmine!

   D.R.

   I responded to the "lively tradition" blog with the post copied here.

   Jasmine

   > And, by restricting the 'moral' argument to these best case examples,
   they

   discount all negative experiences elsewhere. The stories about 13 year

   coerced brides in Utah are not relevant in those discussions....<

   On the contrary, the negative experiences are highly relevant. The limited

   time available in polyamory panel discussions makes it impossible to cover

   everything, and of course the panelists want to talk about positive
   experiences

   first. When and where are we supposed to follow up those panel discussions

   with all the important issues that couldn't be squeezed into the allotted
   time?

   Is this blog an appropriate place? Is another place more appropriate?

   > The stories about 13 year coerced brides...<

   Forcing polygamists into secrecy by outlawing the practice has invited far

   worse abuses than would have been otherwise possible. The ethical
   polygamist,

   whose family consists solely of informed, consenting adults, is not safe
   to

   turn in his or her abusive neighbor who coerces a 13 year old girl and
   beats

   her for attempts to escape, because the ethical polygamist is every bit as

   guilty of breaking the anti-polygamy law as the abuser is. I recently read
   a

   news article in which authorities in Utah admitted this very dynamic, that
   they

   had unwittingly encouraged the abuses of Warren Jeffs by driving the
   entire

   community underground, stripping them of the safety net of public
   visibility

   and exposure to alternative ideas.

   I recall a story from the editors of "Loving More Magazine" about a woman

   who was unhappily involved in a three person relationship without benefit
   of a

   support community or independent information of any kind. She was
   dependent

   on the information given to her by her male partner. But after she learned

   from "Loving More" about polyamory, poly ethics, informed consent, and the
   poly

   community, she realized that she was in an abusive situation, and she
   removed

   herself from that situation.

   Poly relationships aren't all perfect. But they do happen. And they are

   better dealt with when information, support, and ministry are available to
   all

   involved. Poly people ARE coming out in UU congregations. We need to have

   conversations about how to respond with compassion and respect, how to
   listen to

   understand, and how we can all be in right relationship with each other.

   And one last note. If Jesus were walking along the road past two people --

   one a respected leader pronouncing that "polyamory is morally and
   spiritually

   dangerous, both to its practitioners and to their children," and the other
   a

   poly person hiding behind a tree wondering whether they could safely reach

   out and touch the hem of his garment, which person would Jesus call to him
   and

   join for supper?

   Jasmine

   posted July 7, 2007 4:28 PM

     ----------------------------------------------------------------------

   Want to change your life? Find the perfect job with Lycos Jobs.
   Career Advice. Job Resources & Recommendations.
   Post your resume & find a job match!