Re: [UUPoly-L] Poly Not As Fun As Cheating

["Brigitte Fires" <brigittefires@gmail.com>]

In the example given, the keeping it a secret qualifies, to me, as lying.
He's keeping it a secret because he knows she would not approve of the
truth. (This is different than keeping secrets that are intended to be
revealed for the other person's pleasure at a later date, such as surprise
parties and secret weekend trips to destinations of choice.)

So it's the lying that counts it as cheating.

Arguably I would say that in the given example, John KNEW about the
different assumptions and chose not to point out the different assumptions
to Mary, in essence, lying by omission. But that just gets back to the
argument about lying=bad.

brigitte

On 7/12/07, wabaldwin@aol.com <wabaldwin@aol.com> wrote:
> What if he *doesn't* keep it a secret from Mary?
>
> Is it the "keeping it a secret" that makes it (in your opinion)
> "cheating"?
>
> (And how is it that these two people have never discovered that they are
> making different assumptions about their marriage? -- What would you
> recommend to avoid that?)
>
>
> Bill