[UUPoly-L] [RE] An unspoken fear of rivals

["Desmond Ravenstone" <gentlemonster@lycos.com>]

   Kelly:

   I think this is a very good insight, and I would expand upon it. Some
   people view the fluidity that one can see in polyamory and/or open
   relationships as a form of anarchy; they need a simpler form of order in
   which to navigate.

   Perhaps then a large part of our approach to other UUs, and the wider
   world, is to assure that we are not looking to throw away all of the
   rules, but we are willing to rewrite them. Some proposed "revisons"? ...

   1) People should only enter into sexual/romantic relationships which are
   consensual and respectful.

   1a) Consent and respect in sexual relationships means by extension caring
   for the sexual health of oneself and one's partner(s) by holding to safer
   sex practices.

   1b) Consent and respect in romantic relationships means by extenion caring
   for the emotional health of oneself and one's partner(s) through honest
   and constructive communication.

   2) When two or more people establish a covenant/contract/promise to remain
   sexually/romantically exclusive with one another, then people outside of
   said relationship should respect said agreement.

   2a) Relationship agreements can only be amended with the full consent of
   those who have entered into them.

   2b) A relationship agreement which works for one relational group (couple,
   triad, etc.) may not necessarily work for another; when our community
   accepts a diversity of relationship paradigms, it provides a greater means
   by which more of its individual members may grow and find joy in those
   relationships.

   3) Human beings are not perfect; we make mistakes, including mistakes in
   our relatioships.

   3a) We should try to make amends for our mistakes whenever possible.

   3b) We should try to forgive one another for our mistakes whenever
   possible.

   4) We have a right to protect ourselves from predators who do not respect
   these basic rules.

   How's that for a start?

   Desmond Ravenstone

   ********************

   http://www.lulu.com/gentlemonster
   http://www.myspace.com/desmond_ravenstone

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