Re: [UUPoly-L] Addressing a common argument of anti-poly rhetoric

[WABaldwin@aol.com]

In a message dated 7/17/2007 6:52:58 PM Pacific Standard Time, 
gentlemonster@lycos.com writes:

LT and other bloggers seem to be winding down, but in the process of their
discussion, they have focused on how poly relationships would hurt
children.

There are many different relationship situations among polys, and for that 
matter among non-polys.
 
Is being a single parent bad for children? Even that is a 
non-straight-forward issue -- the single person could actually have a commited partner (but not 
be married).  Or could be a widow/widower?  
 
Should single parents date?  
 
Poly parents -- may be in very stable relationships.
 
Should parents be allowed to divorce?  Should parents who detest each other 
be forced to stay together?
 
Should divorced parents be allowed to date?
 
Poly parents could be in changing relationships -- will they be more 
stressful than changing "monogamous" relationships?
 
In a poly relationship of 4, if 1 person leaves, 3 people remain.  Even if 2 
leave, 2 still remain.  Seems (to me) more stable than 2 monogamous people 
breaking apart.  
 
I don't know what the statistics are, regarding how many poly people have 
children.  I suspect we are pretty conscientious about birth control.  The polys 
I know seem much clearer about whether they want to have children or not.  If 
they don't have children, the argument about "harmful to children" does not 
apply.  If they do have children, they tend to be dedicated parents, countering 
the argument.
 
There are always bitchy counter-examples -- nasty divorce cases or child 
neglect certainly happen in both the poly and mono worlds.  Because anyone can be 
irresponsible or nasty -- poly or mono.
 
But loving, commited relationships are good things -- whether poly or mono.  
Good things for children too, I think.  Loving, commited parents (1, 2 or 
more) are good for children.
 
Bill



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