[UUPoly-L] [RE] A "Friendly" inquiry into polyamory...How might you

[alan7388@comcast.net]

> There seems to be very little serious scholarship on the issue. At the last SSSS (Society for the 
> Scientific Study of Sexuality) meeting, one of the plenary speakers (from 
> Columbia University) noted that no one wanted to find evidence of successful 
> polyamory more than he, but he was sorry to report that after thirty years of 
> research he was unable to report success.

ANY evidence of successful polyamory?!  Please jump right on that one! Any number of people here and elsewhere can supply case histories of success. Either the speaker was talking through his hat or, much more likely, his words got garbled or exaggerated in somebody's memory or retellings.

It's true that very little solid research has been done. Lots of anecdotal examples are available all over the map.

In her New Scientist article last year ( http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19125591.800 ), Annalee Newitz does say, "What evidence there is shows that poly couples stay together as long as monogamous ones." But note that a "poly couple" (i.e. an open marriage) has the same number of internal bonds that can break (one) as a mono couple.

Another often-overlooked point: To get an apples-to-apples comparison, it's important to compare poly relationships to mono *relationships,* not just marriages. Typically, these days a person has had several serious relationships begin and end before one looks permanent enough to be made into a marriage.

Similarly, poly living-together households need to be matched with all mono living-together households, not just the selected ones that have evolved to the point of marriage.