[UUPoly-L] Public face of poly

["David Hall" <airsafe1@comcast.net>]

Kelly wrote: >>This group lasted longer than the average traditional
marriage, but only by
2-3 years.  Where is the example of a poly relationship that has lasted 20,
30, 40 or even 50 years? I really think poly people and openly married
couples should avoid the argument that the "state" of traditional marriage
is somehow an argument in favor of trying sexually non-monogamous
relationships.<<

Dave of KC wrote >>I'm sure you are familiar with Oberon and Morning Glory
Zell who have had a Poly Marriage for at about 50 years, don't know the
exact dates, sorry.
I also know of a poly quad in Kansas City area that has been together for
around 25-30 years.  They lived together for years as "friends" (two married
couples) long before they understood and acted upon polyamorous behaviors.>

I have had the fun of knowing MG and Oberon (my water brother) for many
years, but they have never had the public exposure of the Dales.

Stan Dale was married to Helen for close to 50 years and they included Janet
about 30 years ago. The three appeared on many TV shows in the 80s, and I
have a few of them in digital storage. I have known and loved them all since
my first HAI workshop (www.hai.org) in '88. They were a major part of the
growth in my personal life by their example of love. I went to Russia with
them in '88 and my only regret is that I passed up the chance to share a
room with Helen since all the rooms were doubles. I was a lot dumber then
;-)

Stan died a week ago, at 77, surrounded by Janet, Stan's sons and grandkids.
One daughter-in-law is a Russian girl I sponsored for a visit to the US and
she wound up marrying into the family. Helen passed away a few years ago and
there were about 500 people at a party in her honor just before she died. I
won't even guess how many will show up for Stan's memorial, but I will be
there.

Stan said that every time they appeared on TV they would get many phone
calls from triads or moresomes thanking them for being the public face they
could not be. The story is that after being on Oprah, she said "Can I marry
you, too?" 

Stan would come to my Human Sexuality class for 2 hours, get the students to
actually look into each other's eyes, and touch each other's faces (at least
some of the students) and they loved him. I have never had a guest speaker
that got such a wonderful connection with my students, wish I could get the
same response.

He would call me on my birthday every year to wish me well. He did this for
every intern in the HAI program, 100s of them. There are tears in my eyes as
I write this. He blessed over 40,000 people who attended the HAI workshops
over the years. His legacy will continue under Janet, the Executive Director
of HAI, and the staff of facilitators, but no one can completely replace the
public face of poly that the three Dales presented.

Dave in CA