What you describe matches my understanding of what poly is: Honest,
responsible, non-monogamous intimate relationships. What do you see as the
difference between poly and an open relationship such as the one you
described?
I prefer to identify myself as being in an open marriage (or open
relationship) rather than being polyamorous.
One reason for this is some of my extramarital encounters are casual (which
get labeled as swinging) and some of my extramarital encounters are
emotionally involved friendships (which get labeled as polyamory). I've been
to swing clubs and enjoyed them. I've had serious relationships and enjoyed
them. A lot of poly folks -- not all, but a lot -- don't consider swinging
and polyamory to be the same thing. Some poly folks defend the distinction
quite strongly. The term open marriage includes both poly couples and
swinging couples. So the term open marriage better fits the diversity of my
experiences.
Another reason I prefer to identify myself as being in an open marriage
rather than being poly is that I do not support the legalization of group
marriage. I've talked about this extensively in prior posts and would rather
not beat a dead horse. Please check the archive or write me privately if you
want to know why.
I think it's time to recognize that open marriage is not equivalent to
polyamory.