Re: [UUPoly-L] cheating other angle

["Kelly Cookson" <kc62301@hotmail.com>]

> You are, of course, free to use whatever term that you prefer.  I have a
> child who is not willing to be identified by gender;

I can identify myself any way I want. However, if I identify myself in a way 
that does not fit your construction of reality, then I'm acting like a 
child? And like your child no less? Well, as it is written, a child shall 
lead them! ;-)

> "Open marriage" is one kind of polyamory, because it is honest, 
> responsible, and not monogamous. Pure swinging is not necessarily a 
> polyamorous activity,
> but the "emotionally involved friendships" are certainly included in the 
> term.
> Open marriage is not the equivalent of polyamory, because there are many
> other kinds of polyamory as well.  But it is one of the forms that 
> polyamory
> can take.

We are not so far apart. I think open marriage and polyamory overlap, but 
are not identical. They are like two overlapping circles in a Venn diagram. 
The left circle is polyamory. The right circle is open marriage. The 
overlapping area is polyamorous-style relationships in open marriages. But 
the open marriage circle contains swinging-style relationships (which 
doesn't overlap polyamory), and the polyamory circle contains group 
relationships of various sorts (which don't overlap open marriage). The 
circles overlap, but they are not identical.

The overlapping area means people in open marriages may sometimes have 
overlapping interests with people in polyamorous relationships. The 
non-overlapping areas mean people in open marriages may sometimes have 
different or even conflicting interests as people in polyamorous 
relationships. Polyamorous people may not always look out for or care about 
the interests of swingers. People in open marriages may not always look out 
for or care about the interests of people in group relationships.

It also raises the possibility of choosing to identify oneself using the 
label for the open marriage circle rather than the label for the polyamory 
circle. My relationship experiences fall all over the open marriage circle. 
But my relationship experiences fall only in overlapping area of the 
polyamory circle. The term open marriage more accurately represents my 
experiences and interests than the term polyamory, since polyamory includes 
some things that are not part of my experiences or interests. Why should I 
prefer a less accurate label over a more accurate label?

But, I sense I'm fighting a losing battle. If you really, really, really 
need to identify me as poly...

Polymonogamy = a socially monogamous relationship in which both partners 
have agreed to allow sexual relationships with extra-couple partners.

Polymonogamist = a person who is involved in, or aspires to be involved in, 
a polymonogamous relationship.

I offer these definitions with tongue firmly in cheek. ;-)

Kelly

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