Re: [UUPoly-L] Coming out as Poly at work: Need Feedback.

[Rick <rick996@gmail.com>]

Hi Paula,

I was out at work. I had two pictures on my desk and both of my partners
came in for lunch at times and knew my coworkers and bosses.

My advice is:  Don't be ashamed, defensive or apologetic.  Be truthful and
straight forward.  Don't discuss sex or anything personal that might
tittilate.

This is optional and sometimes difficult but shortens any embarrassment
(worked for me).  Act as this is a most acceptable life choice even though
you may be uncomfortable.

Temper my advice with the fact that this was a university.  Your
organisation sounds comparably liberal.

Best wishes,  Rick


On 3/3/07, Paola Suarez-Papp <paola.suarezpapp@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hey everyone,
>
> I really don't know where else to get advice about this. This is my first
> time posting so if this is off topic please let me know.
>
> Yesterday I almost outed myself as poly at work or so I thought.
>
> One of my co-workers was talking about WoW (World of Warcraft) and how
> addictive it is. Without even thinking about it I shared how I used to
> date
> a guy who was so obsessed with it that he would play it while I was right
> there waiting to hang out with him. And then he asked me, "When was this?"
> I
> said, "I don't know 2 years ago maybe? When WoW came out." Still oblivious
> to what I was doing. He then said to me, "Weren't you dating or married to
> your husband at that time?" I totally forgot that I had shared at work
> that
> Alex and I have been togther for 9 years (this August).
>
> DUH..Part of me the part that hates this cloak & dagger sh*t and just
> wants
> to be honest was like perfect opportunity to just say it..I'm poly!
>
> The other part froze and said, "It's complicated."
>
> I then tried to recover since everyone had overheard the conversation.
> Thinking that this coworker had figured me out I wrote him an email
> explaining to him that Alex and I are poly.
>
> Well to my chagrin he replied that he had just thought that Alex and I had
> been separated at that point.
>
> DUH
>
> The fact that I didn't think of that. I don't know what it means.
>
> I guess my share is because I want advice on coming out at work? Good?
> Bad?
> Ugly?
>
> I work at a very large company that is very safe concerning LGBT issues.
> There's a lot of out folks and part of me feels that being poly would be
> accepted as well.
>
> I just don't know.
>
> Like I said part of me is just tired of this cloak and dagger sh*t.
>
> To make the connection to UU this is something that plagues me as well
> about
> not being out at my church. I'm only out to my minister and 3 other people
> in my welcoming congregation committee. It also happened by chance because
> we were talking about gay marriage rights and someone brought up poly and
> it
> really wasn't being defined in a good way so I just HAD to step in and
> give
> my 2 cents. So far I haven't had any questions or comments from those 4
> folks.
>
> So thoughts about being out as Poly at work and also at church are
> welcome.
>
> Thanks,
> Paola
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