Re: [UUPoly-L] Coming out as Poly at work: Need Feedback.

I struggle a lot with the idea of being out at work.  I've been out of
the more traditional closet since I was 18, and I feel totally
comfortable with LGBTQ issues.  I'm really pretty sure the only thing
that makes me reticent to say "my girlfriend" at work is the fact that
I know that I've already said "my boyfriend".

On the one hand, I feel that I should be totally fine with being out
as poly at work.  If people can talk about the SOs, then I can talk
about mine.  But then I hesistate.  And I think, on the other hand,
that it's none of anybody's business, that I'm not close enough to any
coworkers for me to think it's their business exactly what my
relationship is like, etc.  And that's true.  But at the same time,
why hide it?  It's just as much not their business if they do know as
if they don't.

So I guess I'm rather in the same boat as you.  I'm not paranoid about
people finding out, but I'm not sure how uncomfortable I would feel if
it just happened to come up.  I was planning on taking both of my SOs
to my office holiday party, but we ended up having company from out of
town and not going at all.  I know I felt a little bit of nervousness
at the idea of taking them both, but was more comfortable with that
than with taking one purposefully to blend in, or with going alone
because I was afraid of being who I am.

-Laura

On 3/3/07, Paola Suarez-Papp <paola.suarezpapp@gmail.com> wrote: 
 Hey everyone,

I really don't know where else to get advice about this. This is my first
time posting so if this is off topic please let me know.

Yesterday I almost outed myself as poly at work or so I thought.

One of my co-workers was talking about WoW (World of Warcraft) and how
addictive it is. Without even thinking about it I shared how I used to date
a guy who was so obsessed with it that he would play it while I was right
there waiting to hang out with him. And then he asked me, "When was this?" I
said, "I don't know 2 years ago maybe? When WoW came out." Still oblivious
to what I was doing. He then said to me, "Weren't you dating or married to
your husband at that time?" I totally forgot that I had shared at work that
Alex and I have been togther for 9 years (this August).

DUH..Part of me the part that hates this cloak & dagger sh*t and just wants
to be honest was like perfect opportunity to just say it..I'm poly!

The other part froze and said, "It's complicated."

I then tried to recover since everyone had overheard the conversation.
Thinking that this coworker had figured me out I wrote him an email
explaining to him that Alex and I are poly.

Well to my chagrin he replied that he had just thought that Alex and I had
been separated at that point.

DUH

The fact that I didn't think of that. I don't know what it means.

I guess my share is because I want advice on coming out at work? Good? Bad?
Ugly?

I work at a very large company that is very safe concerning LGBT issues.
There's a lot of out folks and part of me feels that being poly would be
accepted as well.

I just don't know.

Like I said part of me is just tired of this cloak and dagger sh*t.

To make the connection to UU this is something that plagues me as well about
not being out at my church. I'm only out to my minister and 3 other people
in my welcoming congregation committee. It also happened by chance because
we were talking about gay marriage rights and someone brought up poly and it
really wasn't being defined in a good way so I just HAD to step in and give
my 2 cents. So far I haven't had any questions or comments from those 4
folks.

So thoughts about being out as Poly at work and also at church are welcome.

Thanks,
Paola
_______________________________________________
The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to reveal about yourself.
UUPoly-L mailing list
UUPoly-L@uupa.org
http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l



This archive was generated by a fusion of Pipermail (Mailman edition) and MHonArc.