Re: [UUPoly-L] Poly reality

["William Mohn" <wmohn@charter.net>]

We should always be wary of who we "get into bed" with.  Others will
probably point out here that much of the "old" Mormon polygamy is, for all
practical purposes non-consensual, often being dictated by the patriarchal
figure in the sect.  While I support the right of people who want to live in
polyamorous relationships, I am DEFINITELY supportive ONLY when they are
consensually entered into and not dictated by a third party in a position of
authority over the participants.  Read "Uder the Banner of Heaven" to get a
not-so-pretty picture of the polygamy practiced by some (if not all) of the
"old" Mormon groups.

As to definitions:  I define myself as poly in belief, philosophy and
personal desire.  I can say that I am emotionally poly.  Unfortunately I am
married to a monogamous woman, so I do not have a chance to be a
"practicing" poly.  I must have only platonic love relationships with other
women, and have had several very deeply satisfying loving relationships with
women other than my wife.  This is a problem only when the other
relationships deepen to the point of wanting to express the love and caring
in a more physical way, beyond hugs and hand holding.

Regards,

Bill

-----Original Message-----
From: polyfi@comcast.net [mailto:polyfi@comcast.net] 
Sent: Friday, May 18, 2007 11:39 AM
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Subject: [UUPoly-L] Poly reality


While it's sometimes fun to discuss different understandings and/or
definitions, there is a polyamory reality, and THAT is that it is illegal in
the USA for three or more consenting adults to marry.  They have to lie,
cheat, or otherwise be underground about long term, serious, loving
relationships, except sharing those secrets with others in the same "poly"
situation/relationships.

I hope that the upcominhg uupa.org, and UU GA's in Portland, will AT THE
LEAST, express their support for polygamists in Utah.  I'm not saying we
accept polyamy as part of the "normal" polyamory, because it in fact
predated modern polyamory. But, the struggle in Utah, is also "our
struggle", because if they do not win civil rights, then we will never win
them, not even under the UU umbrella. Here is an old link about current news
in the polygamist struggle in Utah:
http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,660214924,00.html
I'm sure that a google search will come up with better, more recent
articles.  
As a "legitimate" Church, the Unitarian-Universalist, IMO, should be one of
the first to support the right of the Old Mormon Church to follow their own
path, the way they see it, the way it was given them by their founders.  I
case we all forget, the Mormon Church was the only one in the USA that our
federal government and the state of Missouri actually "declared war"
against. There are estimated about 30,000 polygamists in western states, and
then of course there was the recent HBO show about polygamy, haven't watched
it, but heard about it.  
It's time for action, and less talk about definitions, IMO.  Sorry for rant.
Dave (All Souls UU, Kansas City, Mo)