Re: [UUPoly-L] Poly reality

["Catherine Deville" <catdeville@cox.net>]

Amanda said:
<<In my opinion, there must be absolute boundaries on religious freedom 
around consent: you can't force someone to be your spouse just because 
your religion says you can.  The government in this place and time 
defines who is even capable of consent, and it isn't always easy to do. 
  That said, if consent is clear, in my eyes you can do what you 
want--cede all your decision-making power to your husband, enter into a 
24/7 BDSM slave relationship, etc.  I still don't have to approve--just 
not interfere.>>

And we absolutely agree there.

<<I'm not at all sure that Mormon polygyny has yet passed that 
all-important consent barrier, and until it does, I won't be marching 
under the Mormon polygyny legalization banner or treating Mormon 
polygyny as part of the current polyamory movement.  If and when it 
does show full reliance on consent, I'll fight for their right to live 
their way--but I still won't be inviting them to my parties :) >>

And that's where we disagree.  I believe that the better way to fight the
battle is to support their rights to marry, i.e., legitimization of the
right to people to choose polygyny if they wish, without altering the clear
and absolute boundaries around consent & age of consent.  If you do that,
then you support the *non-abusive* individuals who are marrying multiple
adult wives consensually but leave room for prosecution of those who are
committing child abuse, sexual assault, "pandering", etc. (yes, "pandering"
- selling off your minor daughter to another man for sexual favors is
generally covered under "pandering" laws.) 

Part of what always disturbs me about this conversation, when it comes up
(and it invariably does) is that it *assumes* that all Mormon polygynous
relationships are equal to the abusive ones.  That's bigotry, plain and
simple, and it's always going to disturb me to see folks who are presumably
liberal minded advocate setting or supporting laws which restrict the
freedom of all based on the behavior of the criminals.  

NT,
Cat