Re: [UUPoly-L] Poly reality

["David Hall" <airsafe1@comcast.net>]

As if we could stop them! 

-----Original Message-----
From: uupoly-l-bounces+airsafe1=comcast.net@uupa.org
[mailto:uupoly-l-bounces+airsafe1=comcast.net@uupa.org] On Behalf Of
wabaldwin@aol.com
Sent: Saturday, May 19, 2007 9:48 AM
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Poly reality

 There is a separate issue about "age of consent" -- at what age do we allow
people to be sexual? At what age do we allow people to marry?
 
 Bill
    
 -----Original Message-----
 From: lists@imladris.com
 To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
 Sent: Sat, 19 May 2007 10:42 AM
 Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Poly reality
 
  I'm really confused by this argument that if 12-13 yr olds can legally get
married monogamously, then one has no grounds to object to Mormon polygyny
...

> Now, since  our laws in many states allow "under age" juveniles to 
> marry "with consent of parents", then how can anyone throwup and get 
> sick over the fact that 12-13 yr old women get married legally in some
> Mormon circles?   They do the same under monogamy.  Wasn't the Blessed 
> Virgin who mothered Jesus, also about age 13?  Throwup then!! (lol)

This seems to me to be arguing that because monogamous marriages can be
dodgy/inappropriate/abusive, and because our legal system has not everywhere
come around to preventing that, then it is ok for polygynous marriages to be
so too.  Huh?  I *do* think it is inappropriate in our current western
culture (where we aren't trained to be grown-ups by the time we're 13) to
have 12-13 yr old "women"--I'd say girls--getting married in Mormon circles.
I *also* think it is inappropriate to have
12-13 yr old boys or girls getting married *monogamously*, "parental
consent" or no.  I don't believe in the "blessed virgin", and don't think
Mary as mother of Jesus necessarily even existed, so using her as a
counter-example doesn't work for me ... but even if we granted that, there's
a big cultural divide as I alluded to above--in other places and other
times, we were trained for functional maturity at different ages, so it
isn't a valid apples-to-apples comparison.

In my opinion, there must be absolute boundaries on religious freedom around
consent: you can't force someone to be your spouse just because your
religion says you can.  The government in this place and time defines who is
even capable of consent, and it isn't always easy to do. 
  That said, if consent is clear, in my eyes you can do what you want--cede
all your decision-making power to your husband, enter into a
24/7 BDSM slave relationship, etc.  I still don't have to approve--just not
interfere.

I'm not at all sure that Mormon polygyny has yet passed that all-important
consent barrier, and until it does, I won't be marching under the Mormon
polygyny legalization banner or treating Mormon polygyny as part of the
current polyamory movement.  If and when it does show full reliance on
consent, I'll fight for their right to live their way--but I still won't be
inviting them to my parties :)

Amanda

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