Re: [UUPoly-L] UUPoly-L Digest, Vol 38, Issue 11

[AlmostFLYin2@aol.com]

I had to gasp when I read this.
 
My ex did the same thing but Im still dealing with it.  I had to have  a man 
who was non-violent for 13 years arrested for domestic abuse when he fell  for 
someone else.  he has sought custody of the children 3 times in the  past and 
I just recieved a letter a few days ago that he is doing it again. He  is 
claiming that I am trying to alienate him from his kids (I have not done  so).  
his excuse this time is "i am endangerign the kids because I refuse  to hand 
over pertinent paperwork"  (said paperwork being HIS medical bills  and the 
title to his car that i never had).
 
It hurts worse than the physical beatings I recieved, that he could so  
callously use the kids as pawns just to hurt me. I just want to move on with my  
life.
 
Almostflyin2

I, too,  experienced this dynamic when, well before my poly days, my husband 
decided to  leave our marriage.  He, too, had himself set on someone else, as 
it  turned out.  In order to justify leaving me, he demonized me  horribly.  
It was terribly unfair, and none of it was even close to  true.  He convinced h
imself I was having an affair with my boss, which I  wasn't, not even close, 
and there was absolutely no reason to think I  was.  But it fit the "case" he 
was building against me.  He accused  me of being a bad mother to my daughter 
from my first marriage and said that  if he'd had any legal standing, he'd have 
sought custody.  (He'd have had  no real grounds if he had, BTW, and she 
turned out more than fine)    Accusing me of being an adulterer and a neglectful 
parent hit me in my most  vulnerable spots, and was made all the worse by the 
fact this this man had  never done anything remotely vicious to me, ever, up 
until that time.   







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