Re: [UUPoly-L] Polyamory and pregnancy

[Ally <polyfamally@gmail.com>]

We are an FFM triad with three small children.  We are trying very hard to
get our (second, but not secondary, except in as much as the law would not
acknowledge our right to love her) wife pregnant.  This would be her first.
Obviously this is a committed relationship, formalized in fact in our local
UU church.  No outside sex is penetrative, so condoms don't come into play
(if y'all will pardon the pun).

There is a MFM vee in our close circle of friends where the baby is
genetically related to the boyfriend not the husband.  But the boyfriend
lives a thousand miles away, and the husband raises baby.

I can't speak for them, but I can for us.  Our wife considers herself mother
to all three children.  We all do, biological or not.

As per rules, the agreements you make within your own family configuration
are your own to make.  If everyone is comfortable with those rules, then
you're good to go, and any breaking of the rules is where the monogamist
concept of cheating would begin to come into play.  But how you handle that
is yours to decide as well.

Why do you ask, besides curiousity?

Ally


On 9/6/07, jay m <marcus_t_cicero@hotmail.com> wrote:
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> Hello everyone.
>
> Thank you all so much for the replies and the kind words. Just out of
> curiosity, is it okay to email members in the group directly? Please advise.
>
> Here's a question or two from us for the group to ponder over the weekend
> and please feel free to contact us directly with any information if you so
> desire.
>
> Since polyamory involves sex in one of its basics tenets, I was really
> curious as to what happens afterwards, given the sex was unprotected and
> hetero.
>
> How does pregnancy and polyamory go together for the primary couple and
> their lovers?
> Does anyone here have first or second-hand knowledge of a secondary or
> other male lover impregnating the primary wife? If so, how did that work
> out? Was the primary husband okay with not being the bio dad? Whose name is
> on the birth certificate, birth announcements, etc? Who changes the diapers
> at 3 am?
> Besides the obvious for STDs, are there any unwritten rules regarding
> birth control and conception?
> Does anyone know of or have heard of any poly families that purposely have
> children with their secondary or other family units?Thank you very much for
> the information. I find this topic very fascinating and look forward to your
> replies.
>
> Also, it's possible that we may have met some of you here in the group if
> you at the GA in Saint Louis a few years back. My wife mentioned that she
> saw the UUPA booth at Edward Jones Dome/Conv. Center. We stayed at the
> Adam's Mark by the Arch. I ran into numerous UU's at the gardens, museums,
> Arch, Laclede's Landing and just walking around town.
>
> Well, I must be off to bed. Take care everyone and have a great weekend.
>
> Here in Minnesota, we are preparing for apple picking, a trip to the
> Northshore of Lake Superior for the autumn leaves and a nice drive through
> farm country to buy some corn stalks for decorations along with some squash,
> gourds and of course baked goods.
>
> God bless.
>
> J/H
>
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