Re: [UUPoly-L] Dealing with Others

["Lisa" <celticwoman108@comcast.net>]

Penna et al...
 I agree that fear plays a part, but even more so when it comes to 
challenging social norms as opposed to personal relationships.  Nobody like 
to have their previously accepted life 'norms' and expectations put before 
them for re-evaluation.  Everyone thinks they have 'the basics' already 
figured out and understood.  Polyamory threatens to undermine all we have 
been programmed to accept as the way to be which has been dictated to us for 
centuries by a patriarchal monogamous belief system.  If you look how long 
it took for blacks and women to earn rights and how both groups struggle to 
this day to be considered truly equal, expect the total acceptance of 
polyamory to take much longer.  I think each of us has to decide just how 
much we choose to allow the ignorance/inexperience of others, albeit a 
majority at this point, to concern and influence us regarding what we know 
to be best in our own lives and the lives of our significant others.  Most 
of all, IMHO, we owe it to our children to expand the definition of love.
 Lisa


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "K Morgan-Davie" <kmorgandavie@gmail.com>
To: <uupoly-l@uupa.org>
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2007 3:48 PM
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Dealing with Others


> Penna,
> You posed the question:
>
>
> > *" Why can't people just listen and have compassion instead of jumping to
> > judgement?
> >
> > Penna"*
>
>
> It seems to me that the reason is fear. There is no logic in fear, no
> considering the situation or weighing the evidence.  We have a fear 
> reaction
> based on our programming (both overt and covert), and unless we 
> consciously
> intervene, we will react, sometimes violently, to fight off whatever has
> triggered our fear.
> So it is when one crosses cultural and societal boundaries.  The organism
> makes it's threat determination based on the accepted norms, and acts to
> eliminate the infection, first, determine true risk later.  To those 
> Friends
> (and particularly if they are female, I suspect) your situation is very
> threatening, because it suggests that they too might face "competition" 
> from
> another woman - and they believe that competition is inevitable because 
> love
> IS a scarce resource in their lives.
>
> That's my humble <g> opinion!
>
> Blessings - Keith
>
>
> --
> > "Scarcity , or the appearance or scarcity, is the ultimate weapon. If we
> > are convinced that the supply of love is  finite, we can be manipulated 
> > to
> > any means, because we will do anything for love.  We will even hate."
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