Re: [UUPoly-L] Polyamory and pregnancy

[David Heinsohn <kd0r@fhrd.net>]

Hello All

 I've not been following this thread all that closely until this 
evening.  Thought I'd throw my $.02 into the fray though.
> Since polyamory involves sex in one of its basics tenets, I was really curious as to what happens afterwards, given the sex was unprotected and hetero.
>
> How does pregnancy and polyamory go together for the primary couple and their lovers?
> Does anyone here have first or second-hand knowledge of a secondary or other male lover impregnating the primary wife? If so, how did that work out? Was the primary husband okay with not being the bio dad? Whose name is on the birth certificate, birth announcements, etc? Who changes the diapers at 3 am?
> Besides the obvious for STDs, are there any unwritten rules regarding birth control and conception? 
> Does anyone know of or have heard of any poly families that purposely have children with their secondary or other family units?Thank you very much for the information. I find this topic very fascinating and look forward to your replies. 
>   

 We have some close friends who are in this position.  Though there has 
not been an DNA testing done it is fairly obvious that this couples 
first child was fathered by her lover.  The lover, the lover's wife, the 
mother, father and both Chris and I are all involved with the kids.  The 
oldest is just that, the oldest child of this couple.  The second child 
was fathered by the husband.  Both kids have the husbands last name, the 
daddy/husband is  - - well the daddy and husband.  Chris and I function 
more or less as inloco grandparents.  The lover and his wife are good 
friends of the family, like a close aunt and uncle of a couple of 
generations ago.  We all change diapers as required, we all help teach 
as appropriate.  We all enjoy the kids and each other. We all more or 
less try to follow the parents lead as to the ways to correct problems.  
And we all offer suggestions about child rearing issues.  Our daughter 
acts like a remote aunt for the kids, in that she lives 1000 miles away, 
but jumps right in when she's around.  And to the best of my knowledge 
she is not aware of the paternity of either kid.  Oh, both kids were 
breast fed so mommy handled most of the food requirements for the first 
18 months or so. 
 All in all a pretty happy, well adjusted pair of kids from what I can 
see. 

David