[UUPoly-L] Labels

[David Anderson <iulawboy@hotmail.com>]

I understand stargazngal's unwillingness to fully define her relationship, expecilly as it is evolving.  I too have difficulty pinning down a label on me in so many areas of my life - especially when I live on the boundry between two groups.  That said, David Vanhorn nails it when he reminds us that when you attempt to communicate with others labels are a necessisty.  Refusing to label at all means that you will have a hard time communicating your feelings/needs/ideas with others.  I need to be able to say "sit in that chair" rather than "sit in that thing over there that looks like it might be comfortable to sit on but as I don't want to limit its being, I refuse to give it a name."  

As for myself - I still don't consider myself a practicing poly person -- mostly because I'm not sure how to be that freeking honest with people and fear the rejection.  So I've limited myself to open relationships that work mostly, but I end up suppressing my true feelings.  I'm learning to be more honest with myself (I have a capacity and need to be in love with more than one person at a time) and hopefully will someday be able to share that realization with the people I am with.

--David A. 

From: "david vanhorn" <polydvh@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Open Marriage
To: stargazngal@yahoo.com, uupoly-l@uupa.org
Message-ID:
	<b025843b0807311012p2f71d9dfu8c1a488f739a61fe@mail.gmail.com>
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yes, labels are very limiting.
 
But necessary, if you're going to talk about it.
 
-- 
www.hai.org  poly-friendly workshops on love, sex, and intimacy.