From: uupoly-l-request@uupa.org
<uupoly-l-request@uupa.org>
Subject: UUPoly-L Digest, Vol 51, Issue 3
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 11:11 PM
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Today's Topics:
1. Re: UUPoly-L Digest, Vol 51, Issue 2 (alan7388)
2. Group newbie: books/resources about polyamory? (Lia
XOXO)
3. Re: poly books (was concerned newcomer)
(Tara_Affinity)
4. Re: Group newbie: books/resources about polyamory?
(Poly Friend)
5. Re: Group newbie: books/resources about polyamory?
(licorice gumdrop)
6. Re: Group newbie: books/resources about polyamory?
(Tara_Affinity)
7. Re: Those links!!!!! Group newbie: books/resources
about
polyamory? (Tara_Affinity)
8. Re: Group newbie: books/resources about polyamory?
(Catherine Deville)
9. Re: Those links!!!!! Group newbie:
books/resources about
polyamory? (Roza)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 12:39:29 -0500
From: alan7388 <alan7388@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] UUPoly-L Digest, Vol 51, Issue 2
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Message-ID:
<dc07aa0812020939k268ec61cy2c50df24e444d737@mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
> It was a large fluid-filled bubble inside the muscle
wall called a "laryngocele"
Whew! A mass in the larynx often means cancer. I'm so
relieved for you!
Alan M.
------------------------------
Message: 2
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 12:45:12 -0600
From: "Lia XOXO" <liafuntoy@gmail.com>
Subject: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources about
polyamory?
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Message-ID:
<757b85340812021045n55b2a168hfff32317784be67c@mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Hi,
I've just recently stumbled into the world of
polyamory... I'm still not
entirely sure how I feel about it (or more importantly,
how
my partner would
feel about it) but for some reason I am drawn to the idea
of it. Any
advice/ books/ websites would be greatly helpful. Thanks
so much!
Lia
------------------------------
Message: 3
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 10:47:07 -0800 (PST)
From: Tara_Affinity <tara_affinity@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] poly books (was concerned
newcomer)
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Message-ID:
<293509.10650.qm@web58805.mail.re1.yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Hi....speaking of books...?
I'm a former partner of Pete Benson's.? I
personally found his rules and agreement based polyamory
to
be very confining....all the way down to the idea that
all
my email should be open to his perusal, and even my inner
most thoughts if not shared could be considered
"withholding".? Oh, and if I were to date someone
else rather seriously, this person would have to agree to
become a "primary" to all three of us.? When he
and I had a final locking of horns, instead of coming
together as family, he and his pre-existing partner
simply
went to the bedroom and shut and locked the door without
one
word from either of them.? Not good poly form in my
opinion.? The final straw (if that wasn't) was when he
pounded his fist on the table demanding rather?loudly
that
I?only use "I statements" or he would not listen
to me.? He was also quite fond of being?the man in the
middle of two women, in the hand-in-hand-in hand
configuration even though we were a delta,
and at some point?I began feeling way more like an
object
that was owned, rather than a person that was
valued.???Ultimately, once I got out of that relationship
and moved on I felt I was finally experience the wider
realm
of polyamory and the potential it holds for deep,
multi-partner connections.? In my estimation his words
and
actions are not congruent.? However....he's a very?well
intentioned good hearted man, with a lot wonderful things
to
*say" about how to do poly.? If multi-section written
agreements in order to attempt to control partners and
the
relationship appeal to you, his book might be right up
your
alley.? If on the other hand you want books that speak
very
directly to the heart of polyamory, I have some
suggestions
of books that have served me well.?
Two books I highly recommend are Deborah Anapol's book,
Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits.? It remains a
poly-primer in my mind.? It really touches on the
spiritual
grounding of?polyamory?very beautifully.? Another one I
like
for it's practicality is Anthony Ravenscroft's
"Polyamory" Roadmaps for the clueless and
hopeful".?
For over-all personal growth and relationship skills that
serve poly-relationships extremely well, I suggest?HAI?
(www.hai.org) retreats, workshops offered by the NVC
folks
(http://www.nonviole ntcommunication. com/aboutnvc/
aboutnvc. htm?), and for those that can get?away for?a
wonderful, extremely worthwhile 10 days in July
NFNC?Summer
Camp (www.nfnc.org).
I have found these to be the most wonderful resources,
and
where I have found the most healthy, well adjusted
poly-folk.?
?
Tara )0(
?
in Lancaster Co., PA? (for now...?hoping to relocate in
the
NY/Conn/Mass. area...looking for poly-friendly living
situation and/or community...open to?suggestions)
?
Join us
at?http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ExpansiveLoving/-
an?on-line group for spiritually and new-paradigm
inclined
poly-folk.?
?
Tara's page - http://360.yahoo.com/tara_affinity- a
sacred living, sex-/poly-positive exploration?
To see my calendar go to?
http://calendar.yahoo.com/tara_affinity
?
?
?
________________________________
From: Maria Snyder <miss_faery_maria@yahoo.com>
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Sent: Monday, December 1, 2008 4:42:43 PM
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] concerned newcomer
That book is pretty awesome... I am out in my sorority,
and
one of the girls cornered me and?asked what polyamory was
all about. I thought the conversation was going to be
weird
but it turned out she had been thinking about it for a
long
time and was?in need of some support and
information...?now
she has borrowed my copy. (not the first borrower)
--Maria (Manhattan,KS)
--- On Mon, 12/1/08, alan7388 <alan7388@gmail.com>
wrote:
From: alan7388 <alan7388@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] concerned newcomer
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Date: Monday, December 1, 2008, 1:10 PM
On a happier topic, yesterday I finally gave my minister
a
long-promised copy of Pete Benson's *The Polyamory
Handbook* for his
counselling-guide bookshelf. He was most appreciative.
Now I'll have to see it he shelves in in his office
with the spine
inward to avoid embarrassment.
------------------------------
Message: 4
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 13:32:27 -0600
From: "Poly Friend" <Poly@arionshome.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources
about
polyamory?
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Message-ID:
<d941ac50812021132t366972cbqd0a26116143651a@mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Try this Google Knol article. That should be a good start
for ya.
http://knol.google.com/k/james-oneill/polyamory/3czmgkncteg8o/2#
On Tue, Dec 2, 2008 at 12:45, Lia XOXO
<liafuntoy@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi,
>
> I've just recently stumbled into the world of
polyamory... I'm still not
> entirely sure how I feel about it (or more
importantly, how my partner
> would
> feel about it) but for some reason I am drawn to the
idea of it. Any
> advice/ books/ websites would be greatly helpful.
Thanks so much!
>
> Lia
> _______________________________________________
> The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
> Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to
reveal about yourself.
> UUPoly-L mailing list
> UUPoly-L@uupa.org
> http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
>
------------------------------
Message: 5
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 17:12:46 -0500
From: licorice gumdrop <licorice.gumdrop@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources
about
polyamory?
To: "uupoly-l@uupa.org" <uupoly-l@uupa.org>
Cc: "uupoly-l@uupa.org" <uupoly-l@uupa.org>
Message-ID:
<E120C377-B489-447D-960B-523855A4EDCF@gmail.com>
Content-Type:
text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed; delsp=yes
ugh. we've been down this road before - that knol is
replete with
bias, assumptions, unfounded assertions, and totally
lacking in
citations or sources. *not* what I'd recommend as a
source for good
information.
the list of *other* references at the end isn't bad,
though.
- j
On Dec 2, 2008, at 2:32 PM, "Poly Friend"
<Poly@arionshome.com> wrote:
> Try this Google Knol article. That should be a good
start for ya.
>
>
http://knol.google.com/k/james-oneill/polyamory/3czmgkncteg8o/2#
>
>
> On Tue, Dec 2, 2008 at 12:45, Lia XOXO
<liafuntoy@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Hi,
>>
>> I've just recently stumbled into the world of
polyamory... I'm
>> still not
>> entirely sure how I feel about it (or more
importantly, how my
>> partner
>> would
>> feel about it) but for some reason I am drawn to
the idea of it. Any
>> advice/ books/ websites would be greatly helpful.
Thanks so much!
>>
>> Lia
>> _______________________________________________
>> The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
>> Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to
reveal about
>> yourself.
>> UUPoly-L mailing list
>> UUPoly-L@uupa.org
>> http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
>>
> _______________________________________________
> The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
> Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to
reveal about
> yourself.
> UUPoly-L mailing list
> UUPoly-L@uupa.org
> http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
------------------------------
Message: 6
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 17:31:28 -0800 (PST)
From: Tara_Affinity <tara_affinity@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources
about
polyamory?
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Message-ID:
<235007.49395.qm@web58804.mail.re1.yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Here's a couple websites that I like.?
http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html?? I great
site?that's full of poly common-sense wisdom.
http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/? The website of our
own?Poly-darling, Anita Wagner.
http://www.lovewithoutlimits.com/articles/index.html?
Lots
of free stuff to read by Deborah Anapol
And if you want to expand your selection of groups, you
can
check out the Expansive?Loving group (the link is down
below
my name), also now known as the "WooWoo Poly
group" because of our spiritual grounding, and....well,
read?our home page and you'll get the drift.?It's
not for everyone...but the folks who have stuck around
like
it just fine.? We have several members who are long time
poly thinkers, educators and activists, and a number of
them
are also practitioners of Tantra and/or other forms of
sacred sexuality and spiritual-sexual integration.
Peace:?? Tara )0(
?
in Lancaster Co., PA? (for now...?hoping to relocate in
the
NY/Conn/Mass. area...looking for poly-friendly living
situation and/or community...open to?suggestions)
?
Join us
at?http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ExpansiveLoving/-
an?on-line group for spiritually and new-paradigm
inclined
poly-folk.?
?
Tara's page - http://360.yahoo.com/tara_affinity- a
sacred living, sex-/poly-positive exploration?
To see my calendar go to?
http://calendar.yahoo.com/tara_affinity
?
?
?
________________________________
From: Lia XOXO <liafuntoy@gmail.com>
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 1:45:12 PM
Subject: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources about
polyamory?
Hi,
I've just recently stumbled into the world of
polyamory... I'm still not
entirely sure how I feel about it (or more importantly,
how
my partner would
feel about it) but for some reason I am drawn to the idea
of it.? Any
advice/ books/ websites would be greatly helpful.? Thanks
so much!
Lia
_______________________________________________
The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to reveal
about yourself.
UUPoly-L mailing list
UUPoly-L@uupa.org
http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
------------------------------
Message: 7
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 18:00:39 -0800 (PST)
From: Tara_Affinity <tara_affinity@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Those links!!!!! Group newbie:
books/resources
about polyamory?
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Message-ID:
<210906.94832.qm@web58802.mail.re1.yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
I copied?and pasted those links directly from?each sites
home page.? For some reason they're not working here.?
When I?copy and paste?them from this email they don't
work either.? I guess you'll have to type them in fresh
to your search field.??Sorry about the glitch.? I?don't
know what's causing it.
Namaste':? Tara )0(
?
in Lancaster Co., PA? (for now...?hoping to relocate in
the
NY/Conn/Mass. area...looking for poly-friendly living
situation and/or community...open to?suggestions)
?
Join us
at?http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ExpansiveLoving/-
an?on-line group for spiritually and new-paradigm
inclined
poly-folk.?
?
Tara's page - http://360.yahoo.com/tara_affinity- a
sacred living, sex-/poly-positive exploration?
To see my calendar go to?
http://calendar.yahoo.com/tara_affinity
?
?
?
________________________________
From: Tara_Affinity <tara_affinity@yahoo.com>
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 8:31:28 PM
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources
about
polyamory?
Here's a couple websites that I like.?
http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html?? I great
site?that's full of poly common-sense wisdom.
http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/? The website of our
own?Poly-darling, Anita Wagner.
http://www.lovewithoutlimits.com/articles/index.html?
Lots
of free stuff to read by Deborah Anapol
And if you want to expand your selection of groups, you
can
check out the Expansive?Loving group (the link is down
below
my name), also now known as the "WooWoo Poly
group" because of our spiritual grounding, and....well,
read?our home page and you'll get the drift.?It's
not for everyone...but the folks who have stuck around
like
it just fine.? We have several members who are long time
poly thinkers, educators and activists, and a number of
them
are also practitioners of Tantra and/or other forms of
sacred sexuality and spiritual-sexual integration.
Peace:?? Tara )0(
?
in Lancaster Co., PA? (for now...?hoping to relocate in
the
NY/Conn/Mass. area...looking for poly-friendly living
situation and/or community...open to?suggestions)
?
Join us
at?http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ExpansiveLoving/-
an?on-line group for spiritually and new-paradigm
inclined
poly-folk.?
?
Tara's page - http://360.yahoo.com/tara_affinity- a
sacred living, sex-/poly-positive exploration?
To see my calendar go to?
http://calendar.yahoo.com/tara_affinity
?
?
?
________________________________
From: Lia XOXO <liafuntoy@gmail.com>
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 1:45:12 PM
Subject: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources about
polyamory?
Hi,
I've just recently stumbled into the world of
polyamory... I'm still not
entirely sure how I feel about it (or more importantly,
how
my partner would
feel about it) but for some reason I am drawn to the idea
of it.? Any
advice/ books/ websites would be greatly helpful.? Thanks
so much!
Lia
_______________________________________________
The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to reveal
about yourself.
UUPoly-L mailing list
UUPoly-L@uupa.org
http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
_______________________________________________
The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to reveal
about yourself.
UUPoly-L mailing list
UUPoly-L@uupa.org
http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
------------------------------
Message: 8
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 20:17:53 -0800
From: "Catherine Deville"
<catdeville@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources
about
polyamory?
To: <uupoly-l@uupa.org>
Message-ID: <014c01c954fe$1c8870e0$6501a8c0@infinity>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Licorice gumdrop said:
<<ugh. we've been down this road before - that
knol is replete with bias,
assumptions, unfounded assertions, and totally lacking in
citations or
sources. *not* what I'd recommend as a source for good
information.>>
In other words, licorice gumdrop doesn't agree with it,
therefore his
opinion is that it's "replete with bias...",
etc. Which doesn't mean that
it's not a good resource. You'll find, Lia, that
there is a sort of
"spectrum" of POVs surrounding polyamory. There
are those who were the
"early adopters", who defined the movement on one
end, and then there are
the "jumped on the bandwagon and want to redefine
everything" folks on the
other end, and most everyone falls in between those two
points of view.
Those who are on the "new members of a movement get to
redefine the
movement" end will consider people expressing opinions
from the "well, we
started the movement, so we get to define it, if you
don't like it, get a
new band wagon" end of the spectrum "biased"
and vice versa.
So, my recommendation is that you read the Knol (and
other
resources
recommended), and make up your own mind rather than
letting
biased,
unfounded and/or unsupported criticisms sway you, while
recognizing that
people have a broad spectum of opinions. I find it more
helpful to hear
multiple opinions and make up my own mind than to tell
someone that a
resource is bad simply because I don't agree with it.
That Knol also has a
reasonable booklist to get started with, and has a
comments
area where folks
can give feedback and recommend other books.
Some other, classic online poly resources are:
The alt.polyamory homepage, with links to the FAQ
(multiple
parts):
http://www.polyamory.org/
The polyamory society (an organization which supports and
promotes
polyamory:
http://www.polyamorysociety.org/
And Loving More magazine's website:
http://www.lovemore.com/
I don't agree with all of them by any means, but I feel
that being exposed
to the diversity is of value.
Never Thirst,
Cat
------------------------------
Message: 9
Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2008 00:10:37 -0500
From: Roza <alliumphobia@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Those links!!!!! Group newbie:
books/resources
about polyamory?
To: UU Poly <uupoly-l@uupa.org>
Message-ID:
<COL112-W68AB177F1A8B86C89EA986C2030@phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
i highly recommend The Ethical Slut as somewhat of an
introduction, and also just as a general book of
interesting
things to think about for any relationship, poly or mono,
sexual/romantic or friendship.
if you are interested in reading about fictional poly
relationships, as many people on this list can attest,
robert heinlein often does a very good job of explaining
how
poly might work. spider robinson does as well in some of
his books -- i just finished rereading Lady Slings the
Booze
for the fourth time.
roza
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this
message; however, a significant number of electrons were
slightly inconvenienced.
> Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2008 18:00:39 -0800
> From: tara_affinity@yahoo.com
> To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
> Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Those links!!!!! Group newbie:
books/resources about polyamory?
>
> I copied and pasted those links directly from each
sites home page. For some reason they're not working
here. When I copy and paste them from this email they
don't work either. I guess you'll have to type them
in fresh to your search field. Sorry about the glitch.
I
don't know what's causing it.
>
> Namaste': Tara )0(
>
> in Lancaster Co., PA (for now... hoping to relocate
in the NY/Conn/Mass. area...looking for poly-friendly
living
situation and/or community...open to suggestions)
>
> Join us at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ExpansiveLoving/- an
on-line
group for spiritually and new-paradigm inclined
poly-folk.
>
> Tara's page - http://360.yahoo.com/tara_affinity-
a sacred living, sex-/poly-positive exploration
> To see my calendar go to
http://calendar.yahoo.com/tara_affinity
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Tara_Affinity <tara_affinity@yahoo.com>
> To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
> Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 8:31:28 PM
> Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources
about polyamory?
>
> Here's a couple websites that I like.
>
> http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html I great site
that's full of poly common-sense wisdom.
>
> http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/ The website of our
own Poly-darling, Anita Wagner.
>
> http://www.lovewithoutlimits.com/articles/index.html
Lots of free stuff to read by Deborah Anapol
>
> And if you want to expand your selection of groups,
you can check out the Expansive Loving group (the link is
down below my name), also now known as the "WooWoo Poly
group" because of our spiritual grounding, and....well,
read our home page and you'll get the drift. It's
not for everyone...but the folks who have stuck around
like
it just fine. We have several members who are long time
poly thinkers, educators and activists, and a number of
them
are also practitioners of Tantra and/or other forms of
sacred sexuality and spiritual-sexual integration.
>
> Peace: Tara )0(
>
> in Lancaster Co., PA (for now... hoping to relocate
in the NY/Conn/Mass. area...looking for poly-friendly
living
situation and/or community...open to suggestions)
>
> Join us at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ExpansiveLoving/- an
on-line
group for spiritually and new-paradigm inclined
poly-folk.
>
> Tara's page - http://360.yahoo.com/tara_affinity-
a sacred living, sex-/poly-positive exploration
> To see my calendar go to
http://calendar.yahoo.com/tara_affinity
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Lia XOXO <liafuntoy@gmail.com>
> To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
> Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 1:45:12 PM
> Subject: [UUPoly-L] Group newbie: books/resources
about polyamory?
>
> Hi,
>
> I've just recently stumbled into the world of
polyamory... I'm still not
> entirely sure how I feel about it (or more
importantly, how my partner would
> feel about it) but for some reason I am drawn to the
idea of it. Any
> advice/ books/ websites would be greatly helpful.
Thanks so much!
>
> Lia
> _______________________________________________
> The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
> Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to
reveal about yourself.
> UUPoly-L mailing list
> UUPoly-L@uupa.org
> http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
> _______________________________________________
> The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
> Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to
reveal about yourself.
> UUPoly-L mailing list
> UUPoly-L@uupa.org
> http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
> _______________________________________________
> The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
> Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to
reveal about yourself.
> UUPoly-L mailing list
> UUPoly-L@uupa.org
> http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l
_________________________________________________________________
You live life online. So we put Windows on the web.
http://clk.atdmt.com/MRT/go/127032869/direct/01/
------------------------------
_______________________________________________
The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to reveal
about yourself.
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End of UUPoly-L Digest, Vol 51, Issue 3
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