Re: [UUPoly-L] Gay or Bi

[SESpruiell@aol.com]

In a message dated 1/6/2008 12:00:47 P.M. Eastern Standard  Time, Jens writes:

Sorry I  wasn't clear.  

NRE = New relationship energy.  That initial  surge of interest which
sometimes blots out interest in the *old*  relationship.

MSM = Men who have sex with men.  Some men who have  sex with men may not
define themselves as gay or bi but rather just  straight with other
interests.  In the black community they are called  *men on the down-low*.  

Gay and Bisexual, I believe, are self  definitions MSM is strictly
behavioral.
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First, let me let you know that I am a Black heterosexual male.   Having said 
that, since the Black community defines "men on the down-low"  as those who 
may or may not define themselves as gay or Bi but rather just  straight with 
other interests, might we say that the White community defines  "men on the 
down-low" as "In the closet?"
 
I worked with incarcerated populations for many years.  In my  experience, 
very often, men have sex with other men in jail as a power exchange,  as a means 
of demonstrating dominance over another, or as a means of securing  
protection.  Many men in jail have sex with other men as a pleasurable way  to pass 
time during incarceration.  
 
I say that unless you are a victim, if you have sex with other men, or  
desire to have sex with men, either as an expression of dominance or to pass  time, 
you are exhibiting homosexual tendencies.  You can't have it both  ways.  You 
can't declare being straight while desiring and willingly having  same gender 
sex. If you have sex with both sexes, you are  bi-sexual.  If you deny or 
cover-up your sexual activity you are "In the  closet."
 
The way this guy described his attraction to the other guy, he is  definitely 
gay.  
 
Now to my way of thinking, the possibility that he may be experiencing NRE  
may have validity.
 
 
Selah Eric Spruiell






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