Re: [UUPoly-L] gay, straight or bi

[Roza <alliumphobia@hotmail.com>]

i think you missed intersex and hermaphrodites, which i believe are physical states on being, but can have a great effect on self-identification, and questioning people.  unfortunately, i don't know enough about intersex and hermaphrodites to talk about how they affect identification.  i think people who are questioning should be left alone to figure themselves out, without being pushed or 'supported' into any one label.  my only complaint, based on my own experience, is that some people seem to be questioning becuase it's hip or cool, giving those of us who serious about our identities a harder time validating ourselves.  sorry, i am still a little bitter about the terms BUG and LUG (bi/lesbian-until-graduation).
and you're right, joani, mostly i don't think it doesn't matter, as long as people are happy with themselves.
azora

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

> Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2008 19:48:26 -0800
> To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
> From: joani@swansway.com
> Subject: [UUPoly-L] gay, straight or bi
> 
> Azora is right to pull this question apart in this manner.
> >self-definition, attraction, or behavior?
> 
> In order to really know about a person's sexual orientation one has 
> to know (or be able to answer for the self) FOR TODAY, the following questions:
> 
> Is the person a man a woman?  (a note about transgender folk at the bottom)
> 
> Is he/she attracted to men or women or both?
> Does he/she have sex with men or women or both?
> Does he/she self identify as gay/lesbian, heterosexual or bi-sexual?
> 
> Then other dimensions have to be added.  For those who answer "both" 
> to the first two questions,are they attracted equally, or if not in 
> what proportions, to men and women.  And do they have more or less 
> the same amount of sexual activity (or if not in what proportions) 
> with men and women?
> 
> Then there's the time dimension that applies to everyone.  Is the 
> person talking about today, "these days, " for the past X weeks, 
> months or years, all his or her life, all his or her adult life so 
> far?  How about what he or she thinks he/she would like moving into 
> the future.  Then there is the question of how out a man or woman who 
> is anything other than heterosexual, might be, on each of the three 
> questions, and to whom, adding yet another dimension.
> 
> Here's my way for looking at the orientation of trans people. I start 
> by finding out whether the person (during the time period being 
> considered...see previous paragraph) thinks of him/herself or 
> identifies as a man or woman.
> 
>  From there on, I'd want to know the answers to the other questions 
> from whichever gender he/she/claims.  So if an MTF trans person 
> describes him/herself as a woman or a transwoman who is attracted 
> exclusively to women or other transwomen, and only has sex with women 
> or other transwoman, I'd say she is a lesbian. However, if she wants 
> to identify (last question) another way, I'd respect her choice, 
> though I might have a hard time understanding it.
> 
> How did I do? Who or what did I miss?  And does all this really 
> matter? Well, it matters a great deal to some people, not at all to others.
> 
> Joani
> 
> Joani Blank
> land line : 510-834-7399 (preferred)
> cell: 510-387-1315
> 
> _______________________________________________
> The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
> Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to reveal about yourself.
> UUPoly-L mailing list
> UUPoly-L@uupa.org
> http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l

_________________________________________________________________
Share life as it happens with the new Windows Live.
http://www.windowslive.com/share.html?ocid=TXT_TAGHM_Wave2_sharelife_012008