Re: [UUPoly-L] gay, straight or bi

["faraze waqar" <farazester@gmail.com>]

thanks a lot

On Jan 10, 2008 3:36 AM, Roza <alliumphobia@hotmail.com> wrote:

>
> i think you missed intersex and hermaphrodites, which i believe are
> physical states on being, but can have a great effect on
> self-identification, and questioning people.  unfortunately, i don't know
> enough about intersex and hermaphrodites to talk about how they affect
> identification.  i think people who are questioning should be left alone to
> figure themselves out, without being pushed or 'supported' into any one
> label.  my only complaint, based on my own experience, is that some people
> seem to be questioning becuase it's hip or cool, giving those of us who
> serious about our identities a harder time validating ourselves.  sorry, i
> am still a little bitter about the terms BUG and LUG
> (bi/lesbian-until-graduation).
> and you're right, joani, mostly i don't think it doesn't matter, as long
> as people are happy with themselves.
> azora
>
> Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however,
> a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.
>
> > Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2008 19:48:26 -0800
> > To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
> > From: joani@swansway.com
> > Subject: [UUPoly-L] gay, straight or bi
>  >
> > Azora is right to pull this question apart in this manner.
> > >self-definition, attraction, or behavior?
> >
> > In order to really know about a person's sexual orientation one has
> > to know (or be able to answer for the self) FOR TODAY, the following
> questions:
> >
> > Is the person a man a woman?  (a note about transgender folk at the
> bottom)
> >
> > Is he/she attracted to men or women or both?
> > Does he/she have sex with men or women or both?
> > Does he/she self identify as gay/lesbian, heterosexual or bi-sexual?
> >
> > Then other dimensions have to be added.  For those who answer "both"
> > to the first two questions,are they attracted equally, or if not in
> > what proportions, to men and women.  And do they have more or less
> > the same amount of sexual activity (or if not in what proportions)
> > with men and women?
> >
> > Then there's the time dimension that applies to everyone.  Is the
> > person talking about today, "these days, " for the past X weeks,
> > months or years, all his or her life, all his or her adult life so
> > far?  How about what he or she thinks he/she would like moving into
> > the future.  Then there is the question of how out a man or woman who
> > is anything other than heterosexual, might be, on each of the three
> > questions, and to whom, adding yet another dimension.
> >
> > Here's my way for looking at the orientation of trans people. I start
> > by finding out whether the person (during the time period being
> > considered...see previous paragraph) thinks of him/herself or
> > identifies as a man or woman.
> >
> >  From there on, I'd want to know the answers to the other questions
> > from whichever gender he/she/claims.  So if an MTF trans person
> > describes him/herself as a woman or a transwoman who is attracted
> > exclusively to women or other transwomen, and only has sex with women
> > or other transwoman, I'd say she is a lesbian. However, if she wants
> > to identify (last question) another way, I'd respect her choice,
> > though I might have a hard time understanding it.
> >
> > How did I do? Who or what did I miss?  And does all this really
> > matter? Well, it matters a great deal to some people, not at all to
> others.
> >
> > Joani
> >
> > Joani Blank
> > land line : 510-834-7399 (preferred)
> > cell: 510-387-1315
> >
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