Re: [UUPoly-L] Welcoming Congregation & poly

["K Morgan-Davie" <kmorgandavie@gmail.com>]

Dave,
 It's fascinating to me that you and I seem to have come up with the same
solution independantly.
 My congregation is currently working on become "Welcoming", and I'm on the
Welcoming Congregation Task Force which is coordinating the process.  As we
are working through the by-laws, there is great interest and energy in the
changes in the language, etc. to make them all-inclusive of GLBTQ persons,
but when I brought up the idea of discussing language that would be
inclusive of other relationship styles, there was an immediate resistance
from the GLB folks present (we have no trans-members that I know of),
objecting because to do so might raise red flags and "obstruct the progress
the GLBTQ community had worked so hard to achieve..."
 In other words, the same old bigotry, dressed in a different color. The
good news was that I and one other member, who has experienced the fact of
loving more than one at the same time (though she doesn't identify as poly
yet) were able to point out both the reverse prejudice implicit in that
objection, AND the fact that in order to be bi-sexual, one is by definition
*potentually* polyamorous (If I can love both men and women, who's to say I
might not someday meet one of each at the same time?) - and therefore we
needed to have some sort of inclusive relationship style language in place
from the start, rather than trying to put it  in later under seperate cover
and possibly in crisis mode.
 And so the language I came up with was as you describe - "accepting of
different relationship styles...", without using the term "polyamory" at
all.  So far the minimally attended task force meeting is ok with it, and so
now it goes before the full task force, then the board, and then, if
approved, the congregation. It's a long road still.  Since I'm the only open
spokes-person for poly in the congregation of 300-some souls, it's feeling a
bit overwhelming.  I am not, by nature, an activist.  And I'm not even sure
yet that I'm able to be poly in the long run!  Guess I'm doing this for
those who will come after me?  I don't know...
 Blessings - Keith




-- 
"It seems that in this world, a failure to be shamed by one's own desires
and longings and body is seen as a sign of unhealthiness, of perversion. How
can this be?"