Re: [UUPoly-L] Need help with jealousy

Jen,

At 01:57 PM 11/5/2008, you wrote: 
[snip]
Currently, my Master lives about an hour away, in Austin, but this Saturday
he's flying to Seattle to start a new job.  He'll fly back occasionally, and
I'll visit him as often as we can manage, but our time together will
obviously be limited from here on out.  My Master is also poly, but
differently than me.  He said that he may have play partners in Seattle,
maybe another sub, whatever comes his way that meets his needs.

I'm a realist, but I also view life as a gift. Your relationship with your Master will change, but it doesn't have to change for the worse......perhaps just different. You won't see each other as often, but when you do.......watch out for the passion!!

This absolutely terrifies me.  I feel that it's only a matter of time before
I'm replaced and forgotten.  The thought of my Master with another woman
scares me to no end.

Your Master is going to an area very rich in Poly, so he may well find some play partners/sub. I've been poly for a very long time and I can say that I've never replaced any relationship with another and I haven't forgotten any of my relationships. I've had relationships choose/move toward different courses, but there is no replacement.

I worry about him comparing me to someone else and I
just know that I'll come up short.  He's assured me that the slice of his
life that I occupy is mine and can't be taken away.  I also know that
because of our dynamic, I can't control what he does (nor would I want to).

I have a number of relationships the oldest has lasted almost 40 years and the youngest about 4 years. Some of them know each other. Some are very far away and one I rarely see. What I can tell you is that each one contributes to me very differently and in a very special way, both in and out of the bed. There are some things in bed that are unique to the partner and they just aren't the same with any other partner. I also know I contribute to each of my partners in my own way..........I cannot be replaced; I know that.

He has a high sex drive, and I wouldn't want him to be out there and not
getting his needs met.  And apart from sex, I don't want him to be lonely--I
want him to have companionship and friends.  But....I'm just so scared.  I
worry that the first time he's with someone, I'll be a wreck knowing that
he's holding someone else in his arms.

Hopefully the two of you will communicate about your feelings. If he says things like you still matter and he cares deeply for you and you trust him........then BELIEVE him! Try not to create a story where there isn't one. I find drama very stressful and tiring, particularly when it isn't necessary.

Try to separate real/facts from fear/story. What is real and what are you creating? If you think he's so great..try on...wouldn't you want others to see/experience his greatness?

I wish you good insight as you journey........

Polly






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