Re: [UUPoly-L] "Deflowering"

[Roza <alliumphobia@hotmail.com>]

> >  But having a hymen or not doesn't prove virginity, because the hymen can
> > be lost in non-sexual ways...
> 
> And a woman can easily have many kinds of sex other than intercourse, get
> STD's, and become pregnant without rupturing the hymen.  There are even
> women who have hymens that are fairly stretchable, in some cases allowing
> them to have intercourse without rupturing it.

what disturbed me when was my friend was having surgery near her genital area, and she asked the doctor, "while you are down there, would you please cut my hymen?"  she has a very thick hymen, and she didn't want to deal with the potential pain of breaking it when she got around to having vaginal sex.  he refused, telling her that her husband would thank him someday.  i think about that and i shiver.
lois mcmasters bujold writes wonderful fantasy and sci-fi, and in one of her future universes, one of the cultures has a, to me, very wonderful method of dealing with female coming of age.  when a young woman turns 14, she gets her ears pierced, her hymen cut, her contraceptive implant injected into her, and she is offered the services of a licensed sexual professional -- i forget the exact title.  but think of a place in which sex for pleasure is assumed, where people can experiment and learn together and separately and in which the practical needs of safer sex are part of coming of age!  *sigh*  i dream on.  perhaps this would not work in our world, and i know it can't happen anytime soon, not in the casual 'of course' manner that bujold suggests.  but oh, what an idea.
roza


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