Re: [UUPoly-L] Another Case of Mono After a Failed 3 Month Poly Relationship

[Cynthia Armistead <cyn@technomom.com>]

paul wrote:

> Since June, I've had an LDR with a bi-sexuaul woman  in CA whom I thought was primarily interested in women. Two weeks ago she announced that she would like me to meet two of her male lovers (not part of our agreement) during my 3 day visit this weekend. If she had offered to introduce me to her two women lovers, I would have felt differently. I never expected to have relationships with her lovers; but I could havepossibly  been platonic friends with them.  I cancelled my trip from FL to CA for this weekend and started looking for a new  relationships.

When you say that she wanted you to meet two of her male lovers, did you 
assume that meant that she wanted you to have sexual contact with them? 
If not, why would it be a problem to meet them, but not to meet female 
lovers? You mention that you thought she was primarily interested in 
women. Was it upsetting to you to learn that she had two other male 
lovers? Since you're apparently male, I can't understand why you would 
be disappointed or offended to learn that she's apparently more 
interested in men than you thought.

> but two of my poly experiemces have been very negative,

Interesting. I've never heard of anyone giving up on monogamy after two 
negative experiences.

How long have you been exploring polyamory? Have all of your experiences 
with poly relationships been LDRs?

Namaste,
Cyn

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