Re: [UUPoly-L] UUPoly-L Digest, Vol 48, Issue 7

["Toni Coles" <ajcoles@gmail.com>]

OK, so I only have the information I am reading here but I would say that
you & your ex had compatibility issues along with whatever else is
happening.  Did she share her preference for long hair to begin with?  I
have an ex because she determined that she could no longer live as a
lesbian.  I have another that I was too submissive & she wanted a dominant
partner.  In both cases they somehow thought that I was going to be
something I couldn't be.  Hair style seems to me to be more superficial but
it sounds like it is important to her.

One way or another it sounds like you are falling into the same place I
always find myself when I have a breakup.  Sad & hurt.  Later I have found
that I'm much better without a person who wants me to be someone that they
are hoping to make me into that I'm not.  Mono or poly haven't anything to
do with it.

You haven't shared if you were seeking other people aside from your now ex.
Is it possible that poly is something that isn't part of who you are?



On Mon, Sep 15, 2008 at 11:00 AM, <uupoly-l-request@uupa.org> wrote:

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>   1. Another Case of Mono After a Failed 3 Month Poly  Relationship
>      (paul) (paul)
> ---------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Sun, 14 Sep 2008 11:09:30 -0700 (PDT)
> From: paul <paul3421602001@yahoo.com>
> Subject: [UUPoly-L] Another Case of Mono After a Failed 3 Month Poly
>        Relationship (paul)
> To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
> Message-ID: <340978.16172.qm@web55602.mail.re4.yahoo.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
>
> Cyn,
>
> My ex-poly partner and I had agreed that we would build a monogamous MF
> relationship first before she would date other men; but she could also date
> as many women as she wanted. I have "short hair" (not her typical type) and
> look more conservative like her bosses at work even though I'm a liberal
> Democrat. A polyamorous married male with long hair and a beard (her normal
> type) emailed her three to four weeks ago. She had lots of new relationship
> energy for him. I soon realized that she couldn't be trusted because she's
> too flaky.
>
> My new monogamous partner is very devoted and very trust worthy; and  I'd
> never go back to my former polypartner who's no worth trusting.
>
> Paul
>
>
>
-- 
Be who your soul says you are.