Re: [UUPoly-L] STDs and Poly

["Michael Rios" <earthfather@cfnc.us>]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Catherine Deville

> Ummm... does that mean that you were having unprotected sex with your
> partner(s)?  In 2005?  That seems to me to be terribly unwise, regardless
> of
> whether one is monogamous or polyamorous.

It is entirely possible to contract herpes while practicing "safer sex".  I
can't speak to what was done in this particular situation, but herpes can be
transmitted by skin-to-skin contact anywhere in the genital region.  There
don't have to be active sores-- herpes can be transmitted by "viral
shedding", during a time when there are no symptoms of any kind.

It is estimated that 40% of the adult population has herpes, and *half* of
the people infected have never had a symptom!  Many others had symptoms only
once (which could easily be missed, or mistaken for something else)-- yet
they can remain carriers for decades.  So lots of people have it without
knowing it.

The blood test for herpes still doesn't tell you much.  It tells you that
you have Type I, Type II, neither, or both-- but it doesn't tell you *where*
in your body those viruses are active.  While Type II is more common in the
genital region, either type can live in either the mouth or the genital
region-- and possibly other sites on the body as well.

The only bright side to this is that, for the vast majority of people who
have herpes, it is no big deal.  Think of it as genital zits.

There are a very few who have recurrent outbreaks, but most folks have an
outbreak once-- or never.  Unlike HPV, herpes has not been linked to any
other illness or disease process, nor is any suspected.  And in a very high
percentage of cases that are recurrent, the outbreaks can be minimized or
eliminated by following an appropriate diet.  There are also highly
effective medicines as well.


Michael Rios


> 
> Again... I don't see that as an issue with polyamory, as most of the poly
> folks I know use safer sex and many of them are tested regularly.  So
> while
> I know lots of poly folks, I don't know lots of folks who have been
> exposed
> to STDs and I don't know any, personally (AFAIK) who have been exposed to
> STDs because they were poly.  The last time I saw figures on STDs, the
> infection rate for polyfolk (along with "swingers" and the BDSM community)
> was lower than the general population precisely because they tend to be
> more
> aware and to place much more emphasis on safe play.
> 
> Of course, this is a definite "YMMV" thing... it just seems to me that
> anyone, straight or gay, polyamorous or monogamous, who doesn't practice
> safer sex techniques in this day and age has their head buried in the
> sand.
> And statistics show us that being in (what you believe to be) a monogamous
> relationship is no protection from STDs either.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: uupoly-l-bounces+catdeville=cox.net@uupa.org
> [mailto:uupoly-l-bounces+catdeville=cox.net@uupa.org] On Behalf Of paul
> Sent: Monday, September 15, 2008 5:27 PM
> To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
> Subject: [UUPoly-L] STDs and Poly
> 
> Thank you for all of your great comments about my failed Poly
> relationship.
> 
>  Another factor that affected my decisiom is that I and all of my partners
> since 2006 have Herpes.
> 
> The ex-wife of a Christian minister at a mega church in CA infected me
> with
> Herpes in 2005. She didn't know that she was infected.
> 
> Paul
> 
> 
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