Re: [UUPoly-L] Question

Scott <sesnow@verizon.net> · Wed, 24 Sep 2008 03:32:04 -0000

On Tue, Sep 23, 2008 at  4:50 PM, Richard Keenan wrote:
The more I read this series of questions, the more I want to 
write...Marriage without

sex is unacceptable to me...and I don't think "unconditional love" is 
realistic. Each of

us puts conditions on our loveÂ every day.Â If my partner turns into a 
doper or a spouse

abuser or makes an attempt on my life or on my property or life 
savings...how long

should I stay around?Â My partner has to treat me well or else the 
partnership is in

trouble.

Â

Richard Keenan, Ph.D.
Department of Communication Wayne State College
Wayne, NebraskaÂ 68787

Richard -

For me, reading your response, it seems you conflate the concept of Love 
with the related but separate interest of many (most?) humans in a Lfe 
Partner. Yes I am not likely to maintain romantic love, left entirely to 
my own devices, for someone who makes an attempt on my life, or abuses 
me (in a way that I recognize as such). Certainly in such cases, getting 
back to that mutually loving state will require significant effort on 
the part of the offender and willingness from me. (which may not be 
forthcoming). However, without considering the aspect of sharing a life 
together, I think I can love someone even recoginzing they are a doper, 
or an alcoholic. I may want not to live with them; that is a separate 
issue, and indeed I can see the individual's unwillingness to help 
themselves negatively affecting my feelings for them. That does not make 
my love conditional; that is, there was no express or implied 
precondition.
I do think that a higher ideal of "Uncondiional Love" can require 
concious choice, overlooking flaws in favor of whatever positive traits 
one perceives. Here, "Unconditional Love" is entirely about giving. Love 
in return is a bonus.